WD Fyfe

A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society

Apocalypse – Not Quite Yet!

virus1

Unless you’re living on Mars, you know our world is walking a whole new path these days.  We all know the situation; we all have information.  Most of it is real; some of it — not so much.  And we’re all trying to figure out what happens next.  Nobody knows.  However, before we cash in our emotional chips and hide in the closet, we need to think about a few things.  This isn’t an essay in rose-coloured glasses — just a little reality check in these troubled times.

No virus can cancel singing.  Just ask the Italians.

In the future, there will be a lot less time spent in boring meetings where everybody sits around in a little room, talking about what needs to be done instead of doing it.

Finally, people have something real to think about, and they can quit wasting their time, rattling on about which wannabe celebrity said what on Twitter.

Even as you read this, millions of people all over the world are working flat out to get this thing under control.  And they’re succeeding.  Vaccines have been developed at several medical facilities, and human testing has already started in Seattle.

For every story about somebody being a dick, there are a ton of unselfish acts of kindness – too numerous to list.

For the first time in human history, there is no “them and us.”  We’re all in this war together.  This might be hard to get used to at first, but eventually it’s going to be normal.

And the indomitable human spirit will prevail.  Here are just a few examples of people saying, “I’m still standing” and laughing in the face of serious adversity.

1 — It’s been 5 days without sports on TV, but I met a woman on the sofa this evening.  Her name is Marsha.  She told me she lives here.  She seems nice.

2 – We’re all going to brag to our grandchildren that, when we were young, they wouldn’t let us go to school and we didn’t have any toilet paper.

3 — I never thought I’d see the day when cannabis is easier to get than hand sanitizer.

4 — I wish self-isolation meant not watching the news.

5 — There’s a new drink called the Quarantini.  It’s just a regular martini, but you drink it by yourself.

6 — With everybody forced to stay home, I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a minor baby boom, and in 2033, we’ll be calling them The Quaran-teens.

7 — Apparently, 2020 is being written by Stephen King.

8 — To all those people buying tons of toilet paper: you better stock up on condoms too, so you don’t raise any more idiots like you.

And finally, my favourite:

9 — Come on, folks!  If we set aside our differences and all pull together, we can make this the best damn pandemic ever!

8 comments on “Apocalypse – Not Quite Yet!

  1. Kenneth T.
    March 17, 2020

    There will be far fewer Quaran-teens, IF people stock up on those condoms.

    • wdfyfe
      March 17, 2020

      Or stay one metre (3 feet) away. cheers

      • Kenneth T.
        March 17, 2020

        At work they are asking us to stay 6 feet away AND no more than 10 people in a room at a time.

  2. AJ McGregor
    March 19, 2020

    This made me laugh more than once and gave me some perspective. I feel better having read it! THANK YOU! (Please warn your readers that catalogues work for outhouses but not flush toilets.)

    • wdfyfe
      March 19, 2020

      Thanks. Outhouses? Are you a time traveller?

  3. Joe
    March 21, 2020

    Thanks for cheering me up, Compadre.

  4. Christi
    March 22, 2020

    Thanks for the much needed laugh. Particular favorite: the fella who just met Marsha! 😀

    • wdfyfe
      March 22, 2020

      That may have been one of my relatives.

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This entry was posted on March 17, 2020 by in Humor, Humour, Life, Society and tagged , , , , , .
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