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History, Bitter & Twisted October 18

Arrivals:

Although it has no such official designation, October 18th should be called “The Day of the Television Ingenue.”  It’s the birthday of Dawn Wells (1938), Pam Dawber (1951) and Erin Moran (1951).  All three of these women played the wholesome girl-next-door on television sitcoms.  Wells was Mary Ann Summers on Gilligan’s Island (1964-67.)  Pam Dawber was Mindy McConnell on Mork and Mindy (1978-82.)  Erin Moran was Joanie Cunningham on Happy Days (1974-84.)  None of them ever really overcame her sweet appearance (Joanie was actually called “Shortcake”) and so once their characters were over, so were they.  Dawn Wells went on to do musical theatre and Mary Ann, impressions.  Dawber played an older Mindy in a short-lived sitcom, My Sister Sam.  And Erin Moran stepped way out of character, and refused to do the Happy Days Reunion Special then looked totally flaky when she tried to explain why she wouldn’t play nice.

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1954 – Texas Instruments demonstrated the world’s first transistor radio, the Regency TR-1.  The radio went on sale in November and honestly didn’t do very well, chiefly because it was too expensive and it didn’t work.  It wasn’t until Sony started producing cheap, dependable radios that everybody and his friend bought one.  The transistor radio quite simply revolutionized society.  In the old days, most homes had a stand-up tube radio that plugged into the wall, and the entire family gathered around it to listen.  With the advent of a truly portable radio, young people were no longer tied to their parents’ living rooms or even their parents’ houses.  They could — and did — take their music with them.  But more importantly, young people were no longer tied to their parents’ choices, so they could listen to the new music: blues, jazz and outlaw rock and roll.  These were the first cracks in the traditional family unit and the beginning of the soon-to-be famous generation gap.

1867 – In a formal ceremony in Sitka, Alaska the United States took possession of Alaska from the Russian Empire.  The United States had bought the territory the previous March for $7,200,000.   At the time, this was considered an outrageous price, mainly most people had no idea just how big Alaska actually was, and they were quite content to call the whole thing a gigantic frozen mistake – or Seward’s Folly. Seward was Secretary of State at the time.  Alaska, along with the Louisiana Purchase, proved to be, one of the best real estate deals in history, and Seward has long since been vindicated.  One of the things I’ve always wondered, however, is when Seward was approached by the Russians, how did he know what a good deal he was getting?

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Departures:

1871 – Charles Babbage, a super smart mathematician who thought it would make sense for machines to do mathematical calculations.  He figured (no pun intended) that they (the machines) could do lots of calculations at a time — very quickly — and never make mistakes.  This was back in 1822, when the only machine the world had for such things was a pencil.  Babbage had obviously seen the Jacquard loom and the punch cards it used for delicate patterns.  His theory was that those same punch cards could be used for his calculating machine.  Unfortunately, for Babbage, his “difference engine” as he called it, was never finished.  In 1991, a “difference engine” was constructed from his plans which worked perfectly, proving Babbage had invented the computer.

1931 – Thomas Edison, the guy who invented everything.  He held over 1,000 patents in his lifetime.  The fact is, however, some of the things he invented he didn’t actually “invent.”  It was more like he was a perfectionist; he perfected other people’s stuff so it was commercially viable.  Consider, for example, his most famous invention, the light bulb.  In 1880, pretty well everybody knew that if you took a thin piece of metal, put it in a vacuum and heated it with an electric charge, it would glow.  The problem was it usually didn’t glow bright enough or didn’t last long enough to be of any use to anybody.  Edison just kept experimenting with different materials in different combinations until he got one that worked.  He filed a patent and thus ‘invented” the light bulb.  Of course, Edison did actually invent a lot of things and that’s what made him rich and famous.  Legend has it that, when Edison died, his famous friend Henry Ford captured his last breath in a bottle, sealed it and kept it on his desk for years.

History, Bitter & Twisted October 17

Arrivals:

1915 – Arthur Miller an American playwright who wrote Death of a Salesman in 1949.  At any given time, there are more high schools performing Death of a Salesman than any other play – except, perhaps, Thornton Wilder’s Our Town.  First of all, it’s easy – no costumes, no sets – and secondly, it’s a great play.  In 1953, Miller wrote The Crucible a thinly disguised indictment of the HUAC and the McCarthy communist witch hunts.  HUAC didn’t like being made fun of: in 1956, Miller was subpoenaed to appear before the committee.  When he wouldn’t name names, he was charged with contempt of Congress and blacklisted.  In the late 50s Miller wrote The Misfits, a dramatic vehicle for his wife who was tired of playing dumb blonde romantic comedies.  It was Marilyn Monroe’s last movie.

1933 – Jeanine Deckers, who was known for a short period as “The Singing Nun.”  Deckers’ story is the quintessential tale of a “one hit wonder” gone wrong.  In 1963, her song “Dominique” was discovered and played on the radio, ad infinitum.  In January, 1964, she appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show.  A wave of nunophilia swept the world.  In 1966, her song was made into a movie called The Singing Nun, starring Debbie Reynolds.  Not to be out-done, ABC produced a TV series starring Sally Field called The Flying Nun.  In 1969, Elvis Presley and Mary Tyler Moore made a movie about nuns called Change of Habit.  Deckers, herself, left the convent to pursue a singing career, but by that time, public sentiment had changed, and “nuns” were over — singing or otherwise.  She failed miserably.  Meanwhile the Belgian tax man came calling, wanting his share of the revenue generated by “Dominique” and unwilling to take “nun” for an answer.  Broke and, probably, disillusioned, Deckers and her longtime companion, Anna Pecher, sat down one night in 1985 and shared an adult beverage and a huge overdose of barbiturates.

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1931 – Al Capone was convicted of Income Tax evasion and sentenced to 11 years in prison.  Capone was not the biggest crook in the world, but he certainly had the highest profile.  He was born in New York City, which, at the turn of the last century, was a virtual incubator for criminals.  He moved to Chicago in the early 20s and set about establishing himself as the go-to guy for bootlegging, prostitution, gambling and murder.  At the height of his power, the Chicago Outfit was making over $100 million a year (and that’s in 1920s dollars.)  He ordered the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre in 1929, an execution-style killing of seven members of rival Bugs Moran’s North Side Gang.  This brought Capone front and centre before the Bureau of Prohibition, and they sent in Special Agent Eliot Ness and he Untouchables.  This is the stuff that legends are made of. 

1973 – In the midst of the Yom Kippur War, the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) imposed a crude oil embargo – first on, the United States and then on most western industrial nations.  This is the first time that the Third World or developing nations had flexed their economic muscles and the short term impact was devastating.  Within months the price of crude oil went through the roof and the world economy teetered on the verge of collapse.  Oil producing nations became super-rich and most industrial nations went into an inflationary recession.  That was in the short term.  In the long term, the world did not give up its dependency on oil (although it should) and the price continues to escalate.  However, the industrial west managed to absorb the shock and adapt to the new situation.  On the other hand, nobody knows what the developing nations are doing with their piles of petro-dollars, and they are still “developing” – except Dubai, which is bankrupt.

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Departures:

1910 – Julia Ward Howe, the woman who wrote “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.”  The music had been around for years and had been taken up by the Union Army as a marching song called “John Brown’s Body”, during the Civil War.  Howe must have heard the tune many times as Union troops marched south to do battle.  According to Howe, she woke up one morning with the poem completely formed in her mind, and all she did was write it down.  It was published in The Atlantic Monthly in February, 1862.  It immediately became synonymous with the Union side in the Civil War and has since become a standard at American political gathering.  The lyrics have been rewritten many times, most famously as “Solidarity Forever” the trade union anthem.   In 1973, Elvis sang An American Trilogy which combines “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” with “Dixie” and “All My Trials.”  He is probably the only performer who could get away with that south of the Mason Dixon line.

2001 – Jay Livingston, who won 3 Academy Awards for Best Original Song: “Buttons and Bows” in 1948, “Mona Lisa” in 1950 and Doris Day’s signature tune “Que Sera, Sera” (Whatever Will Be, Will Be) in 1956.  He also wrote the theme music for the TV series Mr. Ed and Bugs Bunny’s opening number “This Is It.”  Probably his best known work, however, is the theme for Bonanza which originally had lyrics so god-awful they were dropped after the first show.  You can still find it, with the lyrics, on YouTube, and it’s hilarious.

History, Bitter & Twisted October 16

Arrivals:

1758 – Noah Webster, already a celebrated educator when, in 1807, he started collecting words.  He kept at it, and 21 years later had 70,000 of them.  He put them all in alphabetical order and published them as An American Dictionary of the English Language.  The thing that has always intrigued me about dictionaries is that they’re supposed to be the place you look to find the correct spelling of any word.   However — and here’s the problem — if you don’t know how to spell a word, how the hell are you supposed to find it in the dictionary?

1854 – Oscar Wilde, the undisputed Godfather of gay men everywhere.  His flamboyant style and acerbic wit has set the gay tone for over 100 years, and, to pile on the irony, he did it all during the height of the sexually-repressed Victorian era.  He also wrote poems and plays and one good novel.  But he is best remembered as the king or queen of the epigram with such delights as:

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.”

“Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”

“ I can resist everything except temptation.”

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1923 – In one of the most important events in the 20th Century — and I’m not kidding — Walter and his brother Roy formed The Disney Brothers Cartoon Studio.  Disney never did much except make movies and make money; however, he did understand a few of things.  First of all, he realized that the world was a big place and there was room for his products outside the United States.  Secondly, perhaps inadvertently, he recognized that the American Industrial Age was coming to an end and that the country had to change to an Information/entertainment based economy.   From the beginning, Disney had a huge effect on the world (Mickey Mouse was always a big hit in Europe and Asia) and, as more information industrialists followed his lead American culture spread into every corner of our planet.  Today, Disney owns Information the way past industrialists like Carnegie and Mellon owned steel and aluminum.  Furthermore, half of Disney’s revenue comes from foreign markets.  Likewise, the American economy is shifting, albeit slowly, away from assembly lines and smokestacks to phone apps and downloads.  Second generation companies — like Microsoft, Apple, Google and Facebook — are dominating the world and generating huge revenues.  But it was Disney, more than anyone else, — and there were a lot of them — who took the lead to transform  America from the Industrial Age of the 19th Century to the Information Age of the 21st. 

1973 – Henry Kissinger of the United States and Le Duc Tho of North Vietnam were jointly awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace for ending the Vietnam War with the Paris Peace Accords.  Giving these two guys the Peace Prize is like giving Lindsay Lohan an award for abstinence.  The US and North Vietnam had been slugging it out for years, and immediately after signing the agreement, they just kept right at it.  There was no peace, just American disengagement.  Two years later, North Vietnam launched a huge offensive which resulted in the Fall of Saigon in May 1975.  At least Le Duc Tho had the class not to accept the award.

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Departures:

1793 – Marie Antoinette, the last legitimate queen of France, was taken to the guillotine in Place de la Concorde in Paris and executed.  The mob jeered wildly as she stepped up to the blade and burst into song when it whacked off her head.  Popular history has never settled on an assessment of Marie Antoinette.  Originally, she was seen as an evil influence on a weak King, her husband Louis XVI; later, as a frivolous monarch who lived in extravagance while her people starved.  Recently, she’s enjoyed a bit of a renaissance and is now seen as a woman more sinned against than sinning.  While Marie was not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, she didn’t have fangs and green saliva, either.  Basically, as Queen, in the French Court, Marie Antoinette had no more influence over events than the gardener, and she was killed merely because the mob could get at her.  Also, even though she may well have been dumb enough, there is no proof whatsoever that she ever said “Let them eat cake.”

1946 – A whole bunch of Nazis were executed at Nuremburg Prison in Germany.  They were, in no particular order, Alfred Rosenberg, Joachim von Ribbentrop, Alfred Jodl, Ernst Kaltenbrunner, Hans Frank, Wilhelm Frick, Wilhelm Keitel, Fritz Sauckel, Arthur Seyss-Inquart and Julius Streicher.  Hermann Goering, who was convicted with his buddies, cheated the rope and committed suicide.  Martin Bormann, also found guilty, was never actually found.  The whole works of them got exactly what they deserved.