Tag: contemporary life

6 Reasons Why Covid-19 Sucks

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In the Covid-19 timeline, today is Day – uh – nobody really knows what the hell day it is!  Day 24?  Day 19?  Day 167?  All the days are running together.  It’s as if the calendar gave up on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and just decided to go with “Day.”  This stupid pandemic is ruining our sense of urgency.  Who cares if we sleep in?  “Oh, no! I’m going to be late for ….”  What?  Going to the living room?  And that’s only one of the reasons Covid-19 sucks.  There are tons more.  Here are just a few.

Wall-to-Wall Media
Even in the good old days, there was never 24 hours of news happening every day.  That’s why even respectable media outlets filled up the time with celebrity crap, sports and weather warnings.  Now, with the world at a standstill, all the talking heads are talking about Covid-19 – hour after relentless hour.  Gloom with an extra helping of doom.  Dear God, give it a rest!  Full marks, however, for the 1,001 creative ways journalists are saying, “You’re screwed!”

It’s not “over there.”
Up until the wet markets in Wuhan, China went batshit crazy, every other human disaster was localized.  Earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions and famines all happened, but 90% of the rest of the world was fine.  Even the mighty World War II never made it past the Statue of Liberty!  We all felt bad for those poor buggers in the thick of it, but life went on – kids went to school; we went to yoga class, drinks after work, shopping, dinner and a movie – OOPS!  Now the shoe’s on the other foot, and it doesn’t fit.

The constant comparisons to World War II.
Seriously?  We’ve been jealous of The Greatest Generation ever since Tom Brokaw called them that in ’98, but c’mon!  Even the people comparing 10 years of economic disaster, 6 years of war, the Holocaust and 2 nuclear bombs to just over 6 weeks of self-isolation can’t keep a straight face.

We can’t find a bad guy.
All the usual suspects — misguided science, the military, millennials, corporate greed, etc. — just don’t qualify.  Okay, the Chinese have been dicks about this from the beginning, but believe me, you don’t want say that out loud.  If you dare, Twitter will unleash such an unholy torrent of hate on your head that even your dog will think you’re a racist.  It’s way better to play it safe and bitch about Trump — but after 4-plus years, that isn’t even fun anymore.

There’s nothing to do.
Every single person on this planet is on the front line, and the only thing we can do about it is hide.  People aren’t built that way.  In a crisis, our natural instinct is to take action — even if it’s only volunteering to get shot at.  This is the first disaster ever when taking responsibility, being a good person and doing your part to help means grabbing a spot on the sofa and staying there — and we don’t like it.

But worse than that:

No great stories to tell the grandchildren.
Think about it!  Throughout history, catastrophe has always produced tales of courage, stories of hardship and sacrifice, ripping yarns about the indomitable human spirit.  However, years from now, when our grandkids ask, “Back in the old days, when the world was falling apart, what did you do during Covid-19?” the vast majority of us are going to have to say, “Well, dear — we drank some wine and watched a lot of Netflix.”

And if that lame-ass answer doesn’t suck, I don’t know what does!

The World Keeps Turning

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It’s been about a month since Covid-19 fell on our world like a pack of wolves on a flock of sheep.  Fortunately, humans are an adaptable species and we are beginning to adjust to the new “normal.”  Here are just a few examples of what THE NEW NORMAL looks like.

A tiger at the Bronx zoo tested positive for Covid-19.  Wow, I didn’t see that one coming!  But I’ve got a few rhetorical questions.  Why, in a time of medical shortage and emergency, would anyone take the time and trouble to test a tiger?  Who thought it was necessary?  Did they test all the animals, starting with aardvarks, or just the tigers?  If they only tested tigers, isn’t that species profiling?  Shouldn’t all the cat people be going Twitter-Nutsy right now?  And finally, what’s the big deal?  It’s been my experience that maintaining a safe social distance from a full grown tiger is pretty much common sense.

The mayor of Baltimore called on the street gangs of his city to quit shooting each other because the medical facilities were needed to combat the virus.  The gangs, taking their social responsibility seriously, stepped up and called a truce for the duration.  I guess everybody’s got to do their part in these troubled times.

The BBC reported that, in response to a worldwide pandemic that has ripped apart the lives of billions of people on 6 continents, bankrupted millions and killed close to 100,000 – so far — the city of Shenzhen is taking action.  They are about to become the first city in China to ban the eating of dogs and cats.  The ban isn’t happening right now, but will take effect on May 1st because – uh — restaurants and grocery stores still have them in stock?  A lot of people have already booked the barbeque?  Who knows?  Actually there’s no logical reason for a 30 day delay in this legislation (it’s not like anybody in China gets a vote!) but, you’ve been warned: if you want to have Rover over for dinner, in Shenzhen, you better do it soon.  And the Chinese authorities are not fooling around either.  Apparently, there will be some pretty steep fines for Kung Pao Kitten.  So, after May one, anybody with a craving for pet food is going to have to get their ass outside the city limits – end of story.

Several countries have decided not to participate in the Covid-19 pandemic.  Most of these are remote Pacific Island nations like Nauru, Tuvalu and Vanuatu– which makes sense, because they’re all self-isolated by thousands of kilometres of water.  Then, there are other countries like Yemen where the leading causes of death are gunshot wounds and suicide bombers, so a persistent cough is not going to get anybody a lot of hospital time.  But the two places that beggar my imagination are Turkmenistan and North Korea.  They both have boldly declared that they simply do not have any cases of Covid-19.  None!  Okay, Turkmenistan I can kinda understand: I had to Google it just to find out where it was — so I doubt it, but maybe. . . .   However … North Korea?  It shares a land border with China, the biggest bogyman hiding under the pandemic bed; their economies are intimately connected, and thousands of people go back and forth across the border every day.  What are the chances?  Unless, of course, the Glorious Leader, Kim Jong whatever-his-name-is stood on the Yalu River, drove a spear into the Earth and shouted, (in his best Gandalf voice) “Go back to the shadows. You shall not pass!” and the virus turned around and went home.  Given all the other batshit-crazy stuff coming out of that country, sounds legit!

Time To Be Better

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Our grandparents and their parents were called on to fight a World War to save the world.  Now, it’s our generation’s turn to hear the clarion call to action.  We’re being called on to save the world by staying home, sitting on the sofa, playing video games and watching TV.

WE CAN DO THIS, PEOPLE!

This is the part where ordinary people step forward and do better.  There are many of us on the frontline of this fight, but for the rest of us … we are not required to be extraordinarily brave, we’re not required to leave our homes and families and we’re not required to put ourselves in harm’s way.  In fact, we’re being asked to do the very opposite!  So, it’s not too much to ask that we also leave our fat world of entitlement behind us, drop our petty differences at our feet and just be better human beings.

So, here’s a rough guide on how to do better in the time of Covid-19.

The world has changed.  You don’t have to like it, but you do have to adapt.  We all pride ourselves on how well we think outside the box. Here’s our chance to prove it.

If your natural tendency is to complain – go ahead.  However, here in 2020, the entire world got pooped on, so we all have something to complain about.

If your natural tendency is to laugh – go ahead.  It can’t hurt.

And if your natural tendency is to cry, remember you’re not the only one.

Don’t claim the moral high ground: there isn’t one.  Nobody gets extra points for doing the right thing.  It’s what we’re supposed to do.

In the pantheon of problems the world faces right now, there is only one choice you have to make.  ONLY ONE!  Buy what you need and leave the rest.  It doesn’t require any sacrifice.  It isn’t even a hardship.  It’s normal.  And, believe me, your life isn’t going to be any better because you’ve got 4 boxes of Cheerios.

This task has been given to you – no one else.  It’s your personal responsibility, and it’s not downloadable to “them” or “they” or someone half a world away.

There are no mitigating circumstances.  None of us has any excuse not to wash our hands, keep our distance, smile at our neighbours and play by the rules.

And finally:

Remember, we all know the result.  We all know we’re going to win.  We’re not facing a smart enemy who can outwit us.  We’re not facing an enemy who’s going to change its tactics.  We’re not facing an enemy who can divide us and deceive us with promises and propaganda.  We’re facing an enemy that needs to be isolated and killed – full stop.  So what you do right now determines whether this will be a long and arduous war or a sharp and final battle.

It’s not a choice: it’s time to be better!