Tag: covid-19

The World Keeps Turning

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It’s been about a month since Covid-19 fell on our world like a pack of wolves on a flock of sheep.  Fortunately, humans are an adaptable species and we are beginning to adjust to the new “normal.”  Here are just a few examples of what THE NEW NORMAL looks like.

A tiger at the Bronx zoo tested positive for Covid-19.  Wow, I didn’t see that one coming!  But I’ve got a few rhetorical questions.  Why, in a time of medical shortage and emergency, would anyone take the time and trouble to test a tiger?  Who thought it was necessary?  Did they test all the animals, starting with aardvarks, or just the tigers?  If they only tested tigers, isn’t that species profiling?  Shouldn’t all the cat people be going Twitter-Nutsy right now?  And finally, what’s the big deal?  It’s been my experience that maintaining a safe social distance from a full grown tiger is pretty much common sense.

The mayor of Baltimore called on the street gangs of his city to quit shooting each other because the medical facilities were needed to combat the virus.  The gangs, taking their social responsibility seriously, stepped up and called a truce for the duration.  I guess everybody’s got to do their part in these troubled times.

The BBC reported that, in response to a worldwide pandemic that has ripped apart the lives of billions of people on 6 continents, bankrupted millions and killed close to 100,000 – so far — the city of Shenzhen is taking action.  They are about to become the first city in China to ban the eating of dogs and cats.  The ban isn’t happening right now, but will take effect on May 1st because – uh — restaurants and grocery stores still have them in stock?  A lot of people have already booked the barbeque?  Who knows?  Actually there’s no logical reason for a 30 day delay in this legislation (it’s not like anybody in China gets a vote!) but, you’ve been warned: if you want to have Rover over for dinner, in Shenzhen, you better do it soon.  And the Chinese authorities are not fooling around either.  Apparently, there will be some pretty steep fines for Kung Pao Kitten.  So, after May one, anybody with a craving for pet food is going to have to get their ass outside the city limits – end of story.

Several countries have decided not to participate in the Covid-19 pandemic.  Most of these are remote Pacific Island nations like Nauru, Tuvalu and Vanuatu– which makes sense, because they’re all self-isolated by thousands of kilometres of water.  Then, there are other countries like Yemen where the leading causes of death are gunshot wounds and suicide bombers, so a persistent cough is not going to get anybody a lot of hospital time.  But the two places that beggar my imagination are Turkmenistan and North Korea.  They both have boldly declared that they simply do not have any cases of Covid-19.  None!  Okay, Turkmenistan I can kinda understand: I had to Google it just to find out where it was — so I doubt it, but maybe. . . .   However … North Korea?  It shares a land border with China, the biggest bogyman hiding under the pandemic bed; their economies are intimately connected, and thousands of people go back and forth across the border every day.  What are the chances?  Unless, of course, the Glorious Leader, Kim Jong whatever-his-name-is stood on the Yalu River, drove a spear into the Earth and shouted, (in his best Gandalf voice) “Go back to the shadows. You shall not pass!” and the virus turned around and went home.  Given all the other batshit-crazy stuff coming out of that country, sounds legit!

Time For A “Time Out”

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Call it the Corona Virus, the Chinese Virus, Covid-19 or just a good old-fashion pandemic: it’s clear to me that Mother Nature has given all of us a super-serious “time out” to think about what we’ve done.  So here are a few things I’ve been thinking about.

It took the canals of Venice less than a month to clean themselves.  This is proof that we might not be able to stop climate change, but it’s definitely possible to have clean water and blue skies again.

This doesn’t end here: we need to learn from our mistakes.  And after Sars, Avion Flu, Swine flu, Ebola, etc., etc. — in the future, our international strategy should be containing this stuff at the source, rather than chasing it all over the planet once it escapes.

Three cheers for technology!

No, human nature doesn’t change, but it’s nice to know that, in times of crisis, it does mutate for the better.

Social distancing will mark the end of Uncle Ernie’s long, boring stories and stupid “Pull My Finger” humour.

No virus can put a stop to Kanye West, Kim Kardashian and Taylor Swift’s relentless quest for attention.

I am seriously embarrassed by the things that used to annoy me.

It’s amazing how quickly toilet paper jokes lose their lustre.

For the first time, North American drive-thru car culture makes a little bit of sense.

I’ll betcha most parents, stuck with home schooling, aren’t bad- mouthing teachers anymore.

When this is over, we need to give Amazon a rest (they’re going to be totally tired) and buy our stuff locally.  These are the folks who were on the front line.  Now it’s our turn to help them.

I’m amazed at how friendly people can be – at a distance.

For the next month or so, it’s going to be super easy to find Waldo.

I’m pretty much laughing my ass off at the Zombie Apocalypse.

And finally:

To those clever but equally nasty bastard millennials who are calling this the “Boomer Buster” don’t be in such a hurry to get your inheritance.  Grandma might just fool you and leave her money to medical science!

Time To Be Better

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Our grandparents and their parents were called on to fight a World War to save the world.  Now, it’s our generation’s turn to hear the clarion call to action.  We’re being called on to save the world by staying home, sitting on the sofa, playing video games and watching TV.

WE CAN DO THIS, PEOPLE!

This is the part where ordinary people step forward and do better.  There are many of us on the frontline of this fight, but for the rest of us … we are not required to be extraordinarily brave, we’re not required to leave our homes and families and we’re not required to put ourselves in harm’s way.  In fact, we’re being asked to do the very opposite!  So, it’s not too much to ask that we also leave our fat world of entitlement behind us, drop our petty differences at our feet and just be better human beings.

So, here’s a rough guide on how to do better in the time of Covid-19.

The world has changed.  You don’t have to like it, but you do have to adapt.  We all pride ourselves on how well we think outside the box. Here’s our chance to prove it.

If your natural tendency is to complain – go ahead.  However, here in 2020, the entire world got pooped on, so we all have something to complain about.

If your natural tendency is to laugh – go ahead.  It can’t hurt.

And if your natural tendency is to cry, remember you’re not the only one.

Don’t claim the moral high ground: there isn’t one.  Nobody gets extra points for doing the right thing.  It’s what we’re supposed to do.

In the pantheon of problems the world faces right now, there is only one choice you have to make.  ONLY ONE!  Buy what you need and leave the rest.  It doesn’t require any sacrifice.  It isn’t even a hardship.  It’s normal.  And, believe me, your life isn’t going to be any better because you’ve got 4 boxes of Cheerios.

This task has been given to you – no one else.  It’s your personal responsibility, and it’s not downloadable to “them” or “they” or someone half a world away.

There are no mitigating circumstances.  None of us has any excuse not to wash our hands, keep our distance, smile at our neighbours and play by the rules.

And finally:

Remember, we all know the result.  We all know we’re going to win.  We’re not facing a smart enemy who can outwit us.  We’re not facing an enemy who’s going to change its tactics.  We’re not facing an enemy who can divide us and deceive us with promises and propaganda.  We’re facing an enemy that needs to be isolated and killed – full stop.  So what you do right now determines whether this will be a long and arduous war or a sharp and final battle.

It’s not a choice: it’s time to be better!