Tag: virus

Time For A “Time Out”

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Call it the Corona Virus, the Chinese Virus, Covid-19 or just a good old-fashion pandemic: it’s clear to me that Mother Nature has given all of us a super-serious “time out” to think about what we’ve done.  So here are a few things I’ve been thinking about.

It took the canals of Venice less than a month to clean themselves.  This is proof that we might not be able to stop climate change, but it’s definitely possible to have clean water and blue skies again.

This doesn’t end here: we need to learn from our mistakes.  And after Sars, Avion Flu, Swine flu, Ebola, etc., etc. — in the future, our international strategy should be containing this stuff at the source, rather than chasing it all over the planet once it escapes.

Three cheers for technology!

No, human nature doesn’t change, but it’s nice to know that, in times of crisis, it does mutate for the better.

Social distancing will mark the end of Uncle Ernie’s long, boring stories and stupid “Pull My Finger” humour.

No virus can put a stop to Kanye West, Kim Kardashian and Taylor Swift’s relentless quest for attention.

I am seriously embarrassed by the things that used to annoy me.

It’s amazing how quickly toilet paper jokes lose their lustre.

For the first time, North American drive-thru car culture makes a little bit of sense.

I’ll betcha most parents, stuck with home schooling, aren’t bad- mouthing teachers anymore.

When this is over, we need to give Amazon a rest (they’re going to be totally tired) and buy our stuff locally.  These are the folks who were on the front line.  Now it’s our turn to help them.

I’m amazed at how friendly people can be – at a distance.

For the next month or so, it’s going to be super easy to find Waldo.

I’m pretty much laughing my ass off at the Zombie Apocalypse.

And finally:

To those clever but equally nasty bastard millennials who are calling this the “Boomer Buster” don’t be in such a hurry to get your inheritance.  Grandma might just fool you and leave her money to medical science!

Time To Be Better

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Our grandparents and their parents were called on to fight a World War to save the world.  Now, it’s our generation’s turn to hear the clarion call to action.  We’re being called on to save the world by staying home, sitting on the sofa, playing video games and watching TV.

WE CAN DO THIS, PEOPLE!

This is the part where ordinary people step forward and do better.  There are many of us on the frontline of this fight, but for the rest of us … we are not required to be extraordinarily brave, we’re not required to leave our homes and families and we’re not required to put ourselves in harm’s way.  In fact, we’re being asked to do the very opposite!  So, it’s not too much to ask that we also leave our fat world of entitlement behind us, drop our petty differences at our feet and just be better human beings.

So, here’s a rough guide on how to do better in the time of Covid-19.

The world has changed.  You don’t have to like it, but you do have to adapt.  We all pride ourselves on how well we think outside the box. Here’s our chance to prove it.

If your natural tendency is to complain – go ahead.  However, here in 2020, the entire world got pooped on, so we all have something to complain about.

If your natural tendency is to laugh – go ahead.  It can’t hurt.

And if your natural tendency is to cry, remember you’re not the only one.

Don’t claim the moral high ground: there isn’t one.  Nobody gets extra points for doing the right thing.  It’s what we’re supposed to do.

In the pantheon of problems the world faces right now, there is only one choice you have to make.  ONLY ONE!  Buy what you need and leave the rest.  It doesn’t require any sacrifice.  It isn’t even a hardship.  It’s normal.  And, believe me, your life isn’t going to be any better because you’ve got 4 boxes of Cheerios.

This task has been given to you – no one else.  It’s your personal responsibility, and it’s not downloadable to “them” or “they” or someone half a world away.

There are no mitigating circumstances.  None of us has any excuse not to wash our hands, keep our distance, smile at our neighbours and play by the rules.

And finally:

Remember, we all know the result.  We all know we’re going to win.  We’re not facing a smart enemy who can outwit us.  We’re not facing an enemy who’s going to change its tactics.  We’re not facing an enemy who can divide us and deceive us with promises and propaganda.  We’re facing an enemy that needs to be isolated and killed – full stop.  So what you do right now determines whether this will be a long and arduous war or a sharp and final battle.

It’s not a choice: it’s time to be better!

Apocalypse – Not Quite Yet!

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Unless you’re living on Mars, you know our world is walking a whole new path these days.  We all know the situation; we all have information.  Most of it is real; some of it — not so much.  And we’re all trying to figure out what happens next.  Nobody knows.  However, before we cash in our emotional chips and hide in the closet, we need to think about a few things.  This isn’t an essay in rose-coloured glasses — just a little reality check in these troubled times.

No virus can cancel singing.  Just ask the Italians.

In the future, there will be a lot less time spent in boring meetings where everybody sits around in a little room, talking about what needs to be done instead of doing it.

Finally, people have something real to think about, and they can quit wasting their time, rattling on about which wannabe celebrity said what on Twitter.

Even as you read this, millions of people all over the world are working flat out to get this thing under control.  And they’re succeeding.  Vaccines have been developed at several medical facilities, and human testing has already started in Seattle.

For every story about somebody being a dick, there are a ton of unselfish acts of kindness – too numerous to list.

For the first time in human history, there is no “them and us.”  We’re all in this war together.  This might be hard to get used to at first, but eventually it’s going to be normal.

And the indomitable human spirit will prevail.  Here are just a few examples of people saying, “I’m still standing” and laughing in the face of serious adversity.

1 — It’s been 5 days without sports on TV, but I met a woman on the sofa this evening.  Her name is Marsha.  She told me she lives here.  She seems nice.

2 – We’re all going to brag to our grandchildren that, when we were young, they wouldn’t let us go to school and we didn’t have any toilet paper.

3 — I never thought I’d see the day when cannabis is easier to get than hand sanitizer.

4 — I wish self-isolation meant not watching the news.

5 — There’s a new drink called the Quarantini.  It’s just a regular martini, but you drink it by yourself.

6 — With everybody forced to stay home, I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a minor baby boom, and in 2033, we’ll be calling them The Quaran-teens.

7 — Apparently, 2020 is being written by Stephen King.

8 — To all those people buying tons of toilet paper: you better stock up on condoms too, so you don’t raise any more idiots like you.

And finally, my favourite:

9 — Come on, folks!  If we set aside our differences and all pull together, we can make this the best damn pandemic ever!