WD Fyfe

A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society

Goodbye 2018

new-years

It’s the end of December, and 2018 is rapidly fading away.  Time moves on, and another year is gone.  Here are just a few WD observations from 2018, a year that will soon be relegated to the dusty pages of history.

Kim Jong-un, the Grand Exalted Imperial Poobah of North Korea, promised he’d get rid of his nuclear arsenal.  Sounds legit!  After all, this is the guy who claims he invented the hamburger, is the best golfer in history and never goes to the toilet.

Rosanne Barr has a big mouth.  Who knew?

The word of the year was “toxic.”  It replaced sexist, racist, homophobic and hater as the go-to word that means: I don’t like it, and you’re to blame.  Thus, “toxic masculinity” became the complete and total explanation for everything that’s wrong with the world.

Bill Cosby went to jail.  (One down; one Weinstein to go.)

Ben Affleck decided to hide out in Detox until his #metoo moment blew over.  God!  That guy is an even bigger hypocrite than I thought.

There were so many resignations and “You’re fired-s” flying around the White House that they installed a revolving door.

The biggest news grabber of the year was the British Royal family.  Prince Harry got married.  So did Princess Eugenie.  The Duchess of Cambridge had a baby.  So did her Royal wanna-be sister, Pippa.  And Prince Charles turned 70.  But when the newly-minted Duchess of Sussex actually closed her own car door, Social Media truly lost its mind.

The scariest news of 2018 is the Age of Merkel is over, and the even scarier news is the Age of Macron might just be getting started.

Speaking of which, the latest fashion out of France is yellow vests.

There was good news, too!  More ordinary people killed virtual people playing the video game Fortnite than all the world’s soldiers combined did on the battlefield.  Who says humanity isn’t making progress?

Canada legalized marijuana, but most Canadians didn’t notice.  They were too busy eating Skip the Dishes chicken wings and watching Sausage Party on Netflix.

Apparently, Bitcoin (Bitcoins?) lost most of their value – again.  (Those things jump around more than a toddler in a Bouncy Castle.)  However, nobody really noticed, so it’s pretty safe to say they probably weren’t actually worth anything in the first place and – oh, yeah! — Mr. Barnum was right.

Mark Zuckerberg got into trouble when it was discovered that Cambridge Analytica had harvested the personal information of over 50 million Facebook users.  This is bad … but … think about it!  Since the vast majority of Facebook is Clickbait, cat videos and sappy homilies, Cambridge Analytica didn’t really get very much, did they?

At the movies, people were still fascinated by superheroes with Black Panther, The Avengers, The Incredibles, Deadpool and Crazy Rich Asians pulling in hundreds of millions at the box office.

In more entertainment news, Scarlett Johansson decided not to play transgender Dante “Tex” Gill in a movie because of a massive Social Media campaign that pointed out she is not transgender.  This might very well be a watershed moment for Hollywood.  Perhaps, in the future, only aliens will appear in Star Wars movies, only the undead in zombie movies, and since Transformers don’t actually exist, this could be the end of that jackass franchise.  We’ll just have to wait and see.

But the biggest news story of 2018 was:

When Stephen Hawking died in March, it actually lowered the average IQ of the entire planet.  And, honestly, folks, I don’t think we have that many points to give away.

 

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This entry was posted on December 28, 2018 by in History, Holidays, Humor, Humour and tagged , , , .
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