The Unsung Casualties Of Covid-19

Even though we are not out of the dark hole of Covid-19 yet, there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel — and it’s not the paramedics.  People are beginning to speculate on the economic impact of shutting down the world economy for several months.  A lot of industries have taken some serious body blows and are trying desperately to endure.  For example, I have no idea how cruise ships are going to come back from this.  (Quite frankly, they couldn’t pay me enough to get on one of those floating petri dishes!)  Meanwhile, other industries have adapted.  Liquor stores are delivering, restaurants are takeout only and housecleaners are working from home, telephoning detailed instructions to rich people on how to make the bed and plug in the vacuum cleaner.  Unfortunately, other industries simply cannot survive.  These are real people whose lives have been torn apart — but the world has forgotten them.  They are the unsung casualties of Covid-19.

Pickpockets – This has got to be the most devastated industry in the world.  By definition, the pickpocket business is a people business — up-close-and-personal.  Social distancing has all but destroyed this once thriving traditional occupation.  In fact, in most tourist traps, there is actually 100% unemployment.  These numbers are catastrophic.  Although, given human nature, I’m certain there are still a few dedicated craftspeople out there, plying their trade – struggling to survive.

Prostitutes – Suddenly, what was once called “the world’s oldest profession” isn’t even a profession anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah!  There’s still phone sex and Live Cam, and I’ve read that some people are turning to ZOOM for illicit group encounters, but … The thing is, and I believe most people will agree, the erotic buzz of paying a stranger for sex just isn’t there when you’re forced to remain 2 metres (six feet) apart.  And, this has become an insurmountable challenge for many hardworking men and women.

Spies – Fast cars, tuxedos and little, itty bitty gadgets have no place in today’s world.  Think about it!  It’s impossible to pull off a mission impossible when all the bad guys are stuck at home watching Netflix.  Hell, everybody has a hideout these days!  And it’s not as if you can sneak up on anybody when you’re the only one on the street.  Although, to be fair, high speed car chases are a lot easier — except there’s nobody out there to chase.  The reality is, Post Covid-19 James Bond may have to go back to bird watching.

Aroma Therapists – It’s hard to work up a bunch of sympathy for these scam artists who’ve spent the last decade charging big bucks to let people smell things.  Of course, some of them are still selling their snake oil online, but that’s not going to last very long.  It won’t be many days before most folks discover that all it takes to feel good about yourself is a loaf of bread in the oven.  And if you really wanna get happy … just bake some cinnamon rolls.

And finally:

Meghan and Harry – They couldn’t have picked a worse time to get into the celebrity business.  Pissed off about being a second-string Duchess, Meghan decided she wanted to be the Reigning Queen of Southern California.  Unfortunately, all of her potential subjects are busy trying to keep their own media brands alive.  They just don’t have time to faux fawn over a couple of ex-royals.  Plus, after Gal Gadot’s “imagine no possessions” fiasco unmasked the industrial-strength hypocrisy most celebs practice so diligently, being idly rich isn’t all that fashionable any more.

So, let’s all remember, in these troubled times, some people are a lot worse off than we are.