Winter drags on, and for many of us, the light at the end of the tunnel is on a snow plow! (Normally, we don’t get snow in Vancouver, but this year we’ve gotten more than a bit.) However, the world continues to turn (more about that later) and the news isn’t totally bleak.
The American aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson has arrived in Vietnam, specifically Da Nang. Apparently, this is a goodwill tour with the extra added attraction of staring down the Chinese military presence in the South China Sea. (Kinda cool.) However, I can’t help thinking there might have been some little old couple out for a stroll, who took one look at that big bugger sailing into the harbour and totally freaked: “RUN, TRANG! THEY’RE BACK!”
Last week, a NASA satellite, doing a routine global warming flyover of the back of beyond Antarctica, picked up a pretty substantial “heat signature.” Given the way the ice in melting down there, I’m pretty sure more than one technician thought, “Holy crap! We’ve thawed out Godzilla!” However, on further investigation, it turned out to be nothing more than a gigantic pile of penguin poop. Of course, where there’s poop, there’s penguins, so the folks at NASA took a closer look and discovered a huge colony (over 1.5 million) of penguins. Apparently, these Adelie penguins have been living large for years at a place called Danger Island — simply because nobody knew they were there! At a time when Google Maps can read the licence plate on my Toyota, it does my soul good to see a waddle (yeah, that’s the collective) of crafty little penguins, hiding out from our invasive technology. Good on ya!
But I’ve saved the best for last:
The Flat Earth Society has announced it will hold its first ever international conference in Edmonton, Canada. Tickets range from $130.00 to $300.0, and there will be a number of keynote speakers. (I’m thinking a tweedy guy from Shropshire, England; a Bible guy from the American South; a witch and at least one Californian.) If you can’t attend, you can follow the proceedings online for $28.00 (22 Euros.) Quite a saving!
Personally, I don’t really care if a bunch of people get together and decide Kansas is a Rubik’s Cube, but it boggles my mind that tons of normal, reasonable people are going on Social Media and arguing with these Flat Earthers. Folks! Flat Earth people believe the world is flat. Flat! Despite centuries of evidence to the contrary — from Galileo to Neil Armstrong — they still believe that planet Earth is flat. Now, what argument could anybody possibly bring to the table that would convince them otherwise? Answer? None! Why? Because they think the Earth is flat!
Trust me, people! You’d be better off getting on Facebook and arguing with the cat who “plays” the piano.