WD Fyfe

A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society

8 Simple Rules for Ghosts

Whether you believe in ghosts or not, you have to admit that there are all kinds of things in this world that we simply can’t explain.  Even the most sceptical of us has a vague sense that maybe, just maybe, that noise, that unexplained shadow, or that feeling, might be something we don’t want to look at too closely.  I have a friend who says and believes, “It’s all a pack of rubbish. There’s no such thing as ghosts.”  Still, I know of one place in particular she avoids, because, she says, “I just don’t like the feel of that place.”  If nothing else, that’s what ghosts are: a feeling.  They’re a sense of something outside our accepted knowledge, a paranormal encounter that defies our know-it-all science — without apology.  That’s the problem: even after thousands of sightings over hundreds of years, and some pretty thorough investigation, there is still no hard evidence to prove (or disprove) the existence of ghosts.

However, if we rustle through the stacks of eyewitness reports, from the last several hundred years, we find some amazing similarities.  Ghosts seem to adhere to a few simple rules.  These rules are not etched in stone like the markings on a tomb, but, in general, all ghosts tend to behave in a strikingly similar way.

Rule #1
Ghosts appear at night.  There are very few ghostly sightings in the bright morning or afternoon sun.  They don’t seem to like it.  I’ve been told that twilight is a relatively good time to see ghosts, but by far the best time for ghost-watching is between midnight and 2 A.M. — the so-called “witching hour.”

Rule #2
Ghosts have little or no colour.  In general, ghosts appear to be black and white or grey.  When they do have colour, it’s usually a washed-out tint like a flimsy transparency.

Rule #3
Ghosts are cold.  More accurately, they are accompanied by cold.  Throughout history, ghosts have seldom allowed themselves to be touched (we can only speculate why) so investigators only assume they’re cold.  However, it is almost universally agreed that whenever ghosts do appear, there is a noticeable chill in the air.

Rule #4
Ghosts inhabit buildings.  They prefer places that have some history to them — the older the better.  There are cases of ghosts showing up in new houses but not very often.  Generally they live (exist?) in older buildings or in places close to old buildings.  There is one famous ghost, who strolls the gardens of Windsor Castle.  According to more than a few deniable reports, he was seen walking there by Princess Elizabeth and her sister Margaret in the 1940s.

Rule #5
Ghosts don’t like an audience.  They prefer to appear before one, two or at most three people at a time.  And they tend to disappear just as quickly if more people come to investigate.  Interestingly enough, even though nearly every West End theatre in London has a ghost or two in its repertoire (Drury Lane has three, I think), none has ever appeared before an entire audience.

Rule #6
Normally (if that’s the right term) ghosts stick to familiar surroundings.  They like the places they knew when they were alive, and they don’t travel well.  There are reports of people seeing the same ghost in the same place several times over the course of a couple of hundred years.  The major exception to this rule is Anne Boleyn, the beheaded wife of Henry VIII.  They say that her spirit haunts Hampton Court Palace (where she was a bride) Brickling Hall (her family home) and the Tower of London (where she met her violent end.)  Ghosts may indeed be singular apparitions, but apparently there’s no “rule” that says they can’t be in two places at once.  After all, why not?

Oddly, these last two rules are different from the first six. These “rules” have changed over the years.

Rule #7
In the past, ghosts did not usually speak, apart from howling, shrieking or crying.  When they did speak, it was either to lament their fate or issue a dire warning.  There were very few documented cases of ghostly talk before about 1960.  However, since then, ghosts have gotten more and more conversational, and here in the 21st century, they’ve become downright chatty.  There doesn’t seem to be any explanation for this change in ghostly behaviour.  

Rule #8
Also, over the last fifty years or so, ghosts have gotten much more benevolent: the howling hauntings of the 19th and early 20th centuries have given way to a kinder, gentler ghost population.  In most cases, there is no blood-cold horror associated with ghosts anymore, even though, on the whole, the existence of a ghost is still tied to some kind of trauma during the ghost’s life — an unhappiness, a violent death or a strong emotion, like love.

At the risk of stereotyping the inhabitants of the Spirit World, these 8 simple rules are a good guideline for ghost watching; however, they don’t always apply.  Ghosts have appeared in open fields in broad daylight.  They’ve singed people’s hair.  They’ve showed up in bold tartans and shocking-pink tutus.  They’ve played cards and laughed and even walked their ghostly dogs.   But, the next time you’re wandering around alone after midnight and catch a gray shadow out of the corner of your eye, or feel a sudden chill, you might want to look into the history of your house.

You may not be as alone as you think.

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11 comments on “8 Simple Rules for Ghosts

  1. B.J. Vandale
    March 28, 2011

    I have read a lot on this subject and like the subject of UFOs you may never have seen a ghost or a UFO, they are still out there. Not everything in this world can be explained away. I have never really thought of the “8 Simple Rules About Ghosts” before but after reading them, they do ring true. I don’t know to much about the howling, threatening type of ghost or spirit, I have never encountered one of them, but I would bet there are very few people in this world that haven’t felt a presents in a room with them when they are alone. Thinking someone is watching them and there is no one there. Walk through a room that has cold spots in it or even seeing something move out of the corner of there eye, turn their head to see what it was and there is nothing there. You don’t have to believe in the spirit world and to think it is rubbish, that’s OK too, I don’t really think the ghosts/spirits care to much one way or another. Yes, in my world there are ghosts/spirits and UFOs, just because scientists can/can’t prove it doesn’t mean a thing. I know loved ones that have passed on do communicate with the people left on this earth. Do I care what other people think, not really. We are a pretty egotistical race if we think we have all the answers. Good piece WD.

  2. gabby mchatton
    July 1, 2011

    wow i just felt a chill

  3. breanna
    July 17, 2011

    are ghosts rill

  4. breanna
    July 17, 2011

    whats the milk bar got to do with ghosts

  5. Me
    May 15, 2015

    How do they appear for one person or animal so bright and not for others at the same time and place? How do you get them to disappear? My daughter is frightened of them. They are very clear for her even in pictures but very faint for me. They are hanging out against the wall going downstairs and she won’t go down there much since they started appearing for her last week.

    • wdfyfe
      May 15, 2015

      These are general rules. For specific cases you need to consult someone a lot more knowledgeable than me.

    • Jade
      May 2, 2016

      you shouldn’t be playing with things that are not ment to be toys. Then once you have decided never to play with it and never to speak of it again, then it’s time for you to move and leave all of your material things behind even things you care about like a special ring.

  6. Ange
    June 19, 2016

    I have a film of Michael Jackson’s ghost in my home but he doesn’t appear as a ghost he looks alive..no one was there until we looked over the video….so ghosts aren’t always scary…

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