Just when you thought our contemporary world couldn’t get any WTF weirder, the planet looks you straight in the eye and says, “Challenge accepted!” Sometimes I think the 21st Century is a Salvador Dali painting inhabited by the cast and crew of Monty Python. If our society was a George R.R. Martin novel, nobody would believe it. But the problem is this stuff is true.
Last week, on a live radio broadcast, a couple of Danish DJs bashed a baby bunny over the head with a bicycle pump. (Where’s PETA when you need them?) They explained they did it to stimulate debate about our hypocritical attitude towards animals. They succeeded beyond their wildest expectations. Apparently, bludgeoning bunnies to death — even on radio — drives social media nuts, and the term “heartless bastards” was used more than once. My question is are these Danish DJs absolutely certain that there isn’t some nutbar out there planning to stimulate the debate about our hypocritical attitude towards DJs?
A televangelist in Turkey warned men not to masturbate because their hand will become pregnant in the afterlife. Whoa! Actually, I have no problem with people speculating about what happens to us after the dirt nap — we all wonder — but I’ve got some serious questions before I take this one on faith. Asexual reproduction alone would keep the conversation going for years, and I don’t even know where to start speculating about how this is even anatomically possible. However, my question is, given this scenario, what happens when women masturbate?
In their furor to protest Ireland’s acceptance of same sex marriage, the Westboro Church (a hate organization masquerading as a house of God) waved the Irish flag upside down to symbolize Ireland as a nation in distress. Coincidentally, this turned the Irish flag into the flag of the Ivory Coast. Suddenly, Westboro’s chants and placards were condemning the wrong country! My question is does Ivory Coast have some legal recourse under international law to force the Westboro Church to quit calling them names, and can they seek compensation for the damage already done? Perhaps Westboro is making an honest mistake — I don’t think many of them have actually even heard of Côte d’Ivoire — but if you’re going to hate something, shouldn’t you be legally obligated to get it right?
And it never ends. As Super Junior once said — à la Sonny and Cher — “The Beat Goes On.”