The War On Skinny Jeans

skinny jeansThe attack headlines read, “Skinny Jeans May Cause Health Problems.”  Read about it here.  Puh-leeze!  This kind of fear mongering is not helping to advance the conversation we need to have about women’s clothing.  There are, however, several fashionista groups who continue to speak out and fight back.  Here are a few completely unprompted, absolutely spurious examples.

This is a direct attack on American values.  When you think about it, wearing skinny jeans honours the brave men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice to defend our right to wear tight clothes.  If we give in to this kind of terrorism, pretty soon we’ll all be wearing those loose-fitting burka things.
Meghan — Plumbottom, Wisconsin

I’m offended that the media continues to use the demeaning word “skinny.”  It’s encouraging to see that Walmart, eBay, Amazon and Google have changed their policies and are now using the more sensitive “slim-fit.”  However, more work needs to be done to educate the public about just how hurtful the “S-word” can be to women of slenderness.
Glenda — University of Donner Mountain, California

Historically, women’s fashions have always come under fire.  Way back in the 60s, women made a show of burning their bras in a misguided attempt at equality and research shows us that there were isolated anti-corset groups in the 19th century.  I’m certain this “skinny” thing will blow over and the ladies will get back to wearing attractive clothing again.
Dr. Trim Seekprey — Nobel Laureate

This is a nefarious attack on women by George W. Bush.  It’s a known fact that Dick Cheney sits on the Board of Directors of several multi-national yoga pants manufacturers who are taking advantage of this “so-called” health scare to sell yoga pants.  I’m disgusted that we live in a world that puts corporate greed and profits ahead of fashion.
Ruston Bland — ex-comedian

Our 12-year-old daughter was the victim of “skinny jean shaming” on Social Media.  Her father and I were so proud of her fashion choices until she came home from school in tears.  We contacted the principal and were informed there was nothing the school could do.  Apparently, posting an inflammatory news story on a child’s Facebook page is not considered a hate crime.  Ridiculous!  We need to regulate the Internet to protect vulnerable children from cyber-bullying.
Cary and Ann Umbridge — concerned parents #skinnyshame

There’s no scientific proof that “skinny” jeans have any effect on a woman’s body.  The measurable but insignificant changes in temperature and blood pressure should be attributed to a woman’s natural menstrual cycle.  No further research is necessary.
Report of the Strauss Scientific Group — San Francisco, California

In a time devastated by Third World poverty, disease and starvation, it’s easy for First World problems to fall through the cracks.  That doesn’t mean they’re any less serious.  We need to open a “slim-fit” dialogue that engages this issue honestly.  This is clearly about the human right to choose apparel that reflects how we identify ourselves within the entire human spectrum.  Awareness and tolerance can only be achieved if we silence those negative voices who are driving the agenda.
ThinksMart Activist Collective — Chicago

If you dig a little deeper you’ll find that there have been some major corporate contributions to the hospital where that woman was treated.  Plus, there’s a video on YouTube showing a woman, who is clearly Australian, walking into the hospital unaided.  Furthermore, one anonymous source says the only woman given intravenous drip that day was wearing Levi 505s.  Is it merely a coincidence that the hospital still refuses to identify her?  What do they have to hide?
DreadAxe War Anthem — Blogger

If “skinnies” are good enough for The Royals, they’re bloody good enough for me.
Denwin Yelbladder — Yobmouth, England

3 thoughts on “The War On Skinny Jeans

  1. Ask any guy; fashion for women is pretty much like going down the rabbit hole. #DoesThisMakeMeLookFat

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s