Let’s face it: 2016 was a crap year! Tons of cool people died. Evil bastards all over the world made a point of putting the dick back in dictator. There was war, disease, famine, pestilence — you name it; we had it — and Ben Affleck was Batman! Personally, this year can’t end fast enough. However, I am an optimist, so let’s take a look at a few good things that happened in 2016.
1 — The millennials are now one year closer to getting run over by the reality train.
2 — We finally got rid of Alex Rodriguez.
3 — We have at least three more genders to fit into public toilets.
4 — It’s been 12 months since we’ve heard from Charlie Sheen, Shia LaBeouf, Al Gore, that monumental jerk Letterman and What’s-Her-Name, the stupid blonde chick.
5 — French thieves.
6 — Gawker went broke.
7 — After 41 years of confusion, the British discovered they weren’t European, after all.
8 — The media finally confessed and admitted that half the stuff they’re calling news is actually just make-believe.
9 — The Cubs won the World Series, and Bob Dylan got the Nobel Prize for Literature. (There’s no way 2017 can be any weirder than that.)
And finally, but most importantly:
10 — Politically Correct got an incredible kick in the cojones when reality TV star Donald Trump didn’t kowtow to those social media bullies. The PC Reign of Terror might not be over, but every blow struck against those Intellectual Nazis is important.
BTW, you know what kind of year it’s been when a guy like me is congratulating Donald Trump for anything.