WD Fyfe

A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society

Some People . . .

crowdPeople are wonderful creatures.  They come in infinite varieties, and just when you think you’ve got them figured out, they come up with something completely different and surprise you.  It’s no wonder so many psychiatrists need therapy.  I’ve studied people (informally) most of my life, and I’ve arrived at a few interesting conclusions.

Some people are not supposed to swear.  I’m not talking about nuns or like that; I’m talking about the folks who don’t get it right.  The ones who are trying way too hard to sound badass, and it just comes out weird.  It’s as if they saw the words in a book and looked up the pronunciation.  (Adding the final “g” is always a dead giveaway.)

Some people stink.  No, not poor personal hygiene — that’s different.  These are the folks who apply fragrance like it’s a contest.  The ones who leave that tinny taste in your mouth when they walk past you.

Some people can’t tell a good story.  They start off alright, but then they wander all over the place, trying to explain every detail.  So, what begins as a quick-and-dirty about getting caught in the cat-door fades away — finally — ten minutes later, somewhere in Michigan, riding in Uncle Benny’s green ’82 Pontiac.

Some people shouldn’t be allowed to drink.  Sad people, angry people, touchy/feely people, people who cry a lot, but mostly those people who have one glass of wine and act like they’re auditioning for a Seth Rogen movie.

Some people shouldn’t be parents.  We all know who those people are.

Some people work for the government.  These are the people who know all the rules, what documents you need and what forms you have to fill out, but they take a perverse pleasure in keeping all that information secret for as long as possible.

Some people don’t own a mirror.  There’s no other logical explanation.  Why would anybody (who can see themselves) go out in public wearing an electric-pink angora sweater, matching hat, Daisy Duke short shorts and lumberjack work boots?

But my favourite is:

Some people aren’t all that smart.  This isn’t a problem; it’s just a fact.  The problem is the rest of us are too scared to mention it because of — uh — Stupid Shaming? — or some other such nonsense.  The result is the world is full of stupid people, running around doing stupid stuff, and we all have to act like we don’t notice.

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4 comments on “Some People . . .

  1. C. J. Hartwell
    October 6, 2017

    I think I’m one of the “not supposed to swear” types. I feel like a phony whenever I try it. I just can’t get up enough anger/frustration/whatever to make it authentic. Most of the time all I can manage is, “well, that bites.”
    As for the stupid people, I’ve come to appreciate them. They give me fodder for the blog. 😉

    • wdfyfe
      October 6, 2017

      Swearing is not a learned behaviour — you have to have it in your DNA somewhere. And as I said stupid people are just a fact (observation no barbs) and like you I appreciate their existence.

  2. Claudette
    October 6, 2017

    I’m glad that some people make me look good! 🙂

  3. Rob Alberts
    October 8, 2017

    Looking forward to read your definition of good people ….
    Of the above? I got something each.

    Kind regards,

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This entry was posted on October 6, 2017 by in Humor, Humour, Popular Culture and tagged , , , .
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