WD Fyfe

A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society

Women Get More Cool Stuff Than Men

cowgirlI am painfully aware that writing about gender in these troubled times is like being the goalie on a javelin team, but I’m going to do it anyway.  Stereotypes be damned!  The truth has to be told: women get way more cool stuff than men.  Yes, I realize there’s the whole punitive underwear problem and, beyond Barbie, toys for girls generally suck. But look around you: women have tons more fun with life than men do.  Why?  ‘Cause they get all the good stuff.  Here’s a selection of evidence to prove it.

Sleeves — Women get more sleeves than men.  There are bell sleeves, cap sleeves, raglan sleeves, lily-point sleeves, bishop sleeves etc., etc., etc.  In fact, according to one source, there are over 40 different sleeves available to women.  And what do men get?  Long sleeves and short sleeves!

Hats — Put a hat — any hat — on a woman and you’ve got instant sexy.  Put a hat on a man, and unless his name is Indiana Jones, Humphrey Bogart or Che Guevara, you’ve got a candidate for Geek Of The Week.

Colours — Women get all the colours.  Men get several shades of mud.  Don’t believe me?  How many men do you know who are climbing the corporate ladder in a 3-piece, electric-blue hounds-tooth suit with  ruby red shoes and matching belt?

Hair — Even Stephen Hawking can’t calculate the infinity plus one number of things women can do with their hair.  Meanwhile, on the other side of the chromosome patch, men have the faux hawk, the man bun and bald.

Shoes — I’m not even going to touch this one.

Stories — See a well-dressed woman dining alone in an expensive restaurant and there’s an elaborate story there somewhere.  See a well-dressed man dining alone in an expensive restaurant and … he just got dumped … like, 20 minutes ago.

And finally:

Girl’s Night Out — Girl’s Night can range from a drunken pub crawl through the streets of Maribor, Slovenia — where someone ends up with her panties in her purse — to Ramen Noodle Night with sweatpants, jasmine tea and vintage Ryan Gosling videos.  On the other hand, since the beginning of time, Boy’s Night has always involved a game, junk food, alcohol and the eruption of various bodily gases.

I rest my case!

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7 comments on “Women Get More Cool Stuff Than Men

  1. The Real Reality Show Blog
    October 17, 2017

    And pillows. Don’t forget pillows. Women get to put tons of pillows on their beds. And I just woke up with a crick in my neck. Just saying, you know.

  2. C. J. Hartwell
    October 17, 2017

    The thing to remember about toys for girls, though, is that it’s totally cool for us to reject said toys and play with boy’s toys instead. While a boy playing with girl’s toys? Better not do it in public!
    Same with clothing — we can cross the departments with abandon, but you boys have to stay on your side. Society has decreed it!

  3. Claudette
    October 21, 2017

    Well stated case, however, I am saddened that you were not brave enough to go the shoe route 🙂

    • wdfyfe
      October 21, 2017

      That’s only for Medal of Honour authors.

  4. Vlinder1960
    October 25, 2017

    Yes, but men can go to more places alone. We women have to be vigilant all the time. Men get to do more interesting things, like wild and rough outdoor activities, men can go bare breasted, men get prettier by age….. so….;-)

    • wdfyfe
      October 25, 2017

      All true, but …. I have one word for you – shoes! Thanks for dropping by. Cheers

      • Vlinder1960
        October 25, 2017

        Does not ring a bell….

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This entry was posted on October 17, 2017 by in Humor, Humour, Popular Culture, Social Comment and tagged , , , .
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