A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society
Last week, I got a free pair of Sockamore Socks from Sweden. (You can find their website here — Sockamore Socks.) The how and why of them are a long story that involves my Tasmanian e-friend, Claudette — who, BTW, has a platypus in her garden. (You can find her blog here) a couple of kickass Swedish entrepreneurs, and my own big mouth. Of course, we all know there is no such thing as free socks so I agreed to write a free review.
Full Disclosure — Although I love Nordic Noir television (Wallander, Bergman, The Bridge) and the Sedin brothers, I do not drive a Volvo and I have never been to Sweden. Up until a month ago, I had no idea Sockamore Socks even existed, and Christoffer is not my brother-in-law. And, finally, yes, every man has his price — but mine is a lot more than 7.5 Euros worth of socks. Therefore, this is a completely unbiased evaluation.
The In-shoe experience — The socks did exactly what they were told. The heels stayed with the heels, and the toes stayed with the toes. Even after one complete (3.8 km.) walk around the park, there was no bunching at the instep nor nasty elastic lines around the ankles.
The Out-of-shoe experience — Again, the socks did as they were told, and didn’t try to escape every time I took my shoes off.
The Cozy Test — I chose two typically cold, rainy January evenings for the cozy test. On the first evening, I paired the socks with Earl Grey tea, ginger cookies and a reread of Dashiell Hammett’s The Thin Man. The socks performed very well and were cozy enough to keep me from running for a blanket after 50 pages — but not so cozy that I fell asleep. On the second evening, I paired the socks with Pepsi, Doritos and a binge watch of Berlin Babylon on Netflix. Again, the socks conducted themselves admirably, remaining uniformly cozy through the entire 5- hour video viewing experience.
The Static Electricity Test — Unfortunately, the socks utterly failed this test. I repeatedly rubbed the socks on the carpet, trying to build up enough static electricity to zap my wife on the back of the neck while she was washing dishes — with no result.
The Notice Me/Notice Me Test — This is a very important test because what the hell’s the sense of having the coolest socks in the world if nobody notices? I chose the grocery store, the mall and a restaurant for this test — and there were mixed results. While grocery shopping on a busy Saturday morning, no one noticed my socks. Likewise, walking around the mall for a couple of shopping hours didn’t result in a single “OMG! Where did you get those socks?” However, the socks were noticed almost immediately in the restaurant — where, luckily, the server wasn’t injured when she stumbled over my outstretched feet.
The Creative Use Test — Although the socks didn’t work at all in the Oven Mitt test, they entertained a two-year-old quite adequately in the Sock Puppet test. Plus, in the Folded-Into-A-Ball test, they performed well at kitchen table hockey, get-down-from-there-you-stupid-cat (no animals were harmed during this test) and indoor hacky sack.
The Results — Overall, Sockamore socks do exactly what socks are supposed to do; however, they have two unique features rarely seen in the sock world. One, they’re fun. Normally, socks are like accountants: totally necessary and terminally dull. Sockamore socks are not dull, and as you can see from the photos, I’m into fun socks and know the difference. Two, and much more importantly, Sockamore socks are the perfect gift — not too expensive and not too cheap — with just the right amount of amount of I-was-thinking-about-you to make it stick. Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and even matching socks for a wedding present! Think about it: for less than 100 Euros, you can wipe out half your Christmas list! The best thing to do is just go to their website, Sockamore Socks, and get creative. Tuck a pair in a fruit basket, or a Thank You card, or give the jerk at work a retirement gift and what better way to say “Get Well Soon” than with a pair of socks? Let your imagination be your palette and see where it takes you. Who knows? You could end up even treating yourself to a little Swedish mysig.
And now I’ve added Sockamore socks to my collection
photos by Lady C (Carolyn Bourcier)