The Wonderful World Of Socks

sockamore1.jpgLast week, I got a free pair of Sockamore Socks from Sweden.  (You can find their website here — Sockamore Socks.)  The how and why of them are a long story that involves my Tasmanian e-friend, Claudette — who, BTW, has a platypus in her garden. (You can find her blog here) a couple of kickass Swedish entrepreneurs, and my own big mouth.  Of course, we all know there is no such thing as free socks so I agreed to write a free review.

Full Disclosure — Although I love Nordic Noir television (Wallander, Bergman, The Bridge) and the Sedin brothers, I do not drive a Volvo and I have never been to Sweden.  Up until a month ago, I had no idea Sockamore Socks even existed, and Christoffer is not my brother-in-law.  And, finally, yes, every man has his price — but mine is a lot more than 7.5 Euros worth of socks.  Therefore, this is a completely unbiased evaluation.

The In-shoe experience — The socks did exactly what they were told.  The heels stayed with the heels, and the toes stayed with the toes.  Even after one complete (3.8 km.) walk around the park, there was no bunching at the instep nor nasty elastic lines around the ankles.

The Out-of-shoe experience — Again, the socks did as they were told, and didn’t try to escape every time I took my shoes off.

The Cozy Test — I chose two typically cold, rainy January evenings for the cozy test.  On the first evening, I paired the socks with Earl Grey tea, ginger cookies and a reread of Dashiell Hammett’s The Thin Man.  The socks performed very well and were cozy enough to keep me from running for a blanket after 50 pages — but not so cozy that I fell asleep.  On the second evening, I paired the socks with Pepsi, Doritos and a binge watch of Berlin Babylon on Netflix.  Again, the socks conducted themselves admirably, remaining uniformly cozy through the entire 5- hour video viewing experience.

The Static Electricity Test — Unfortunately, the socks utterly failed this test.  I repeatedly rubbed the socks on the carpet, trying to build up enough static electricity to zap my wife on the back of the neck while she was washing dishes — with no result.

The Notice Me/Notice Me Test — This is a very important test because what the hell’s the sense of having the coolest socks in the world if nobody notices?  I chose the grocery store, the mall and a restaurant for this test — and there were mixed results.  While grocery shopping on a busy Saturday morning, no one noticed my socks.  Likewise, walking around the mall for a couple of  shopping hours didn’t result in a single “OMG! Where did you get those socks?”  However, the socks were noticed almost immediately in the restaurant — where, luckily, the server wasn’t injured when she stumbled over my outstretched feet.

The Creative Use Test — Although the socks didn’t work at all in the Oven Mitt test, they entertained a two-year-old quite adequately in the Sock Puppet test.  Plus, in the Folded-Into-A-Ball test, they performed well at kitchen table hockey, get-down-from-there-you-stupid-cat (no animals were harmed during this test) and indoor hacky sack.

The Results — Overall, Sockamore socks do exactly what socks are supposed to do; however, they have two unique features rarely seen in the sock world.  One, they’re fun.  Normally, socks are like accountants: totally necessary and terminally dull.  Sockamore socks are not dull, and as you can see from the photos, I’m into fun socks and know the difference.  Two, and much more importantly, Sockamore socks are the perfect gift — not too expensive and not too cheap — with just the right amount of amount of I-was-thinking-about-you to make it stick.  Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and even matching socks for a wedding present!  Think about it: for less than 100 Euros, you can wipe out half your Christmas list!  The best thing to do is just go to their website, Sockamore Socks, and get creative.  Tuck a pair in a fruit basket, or a Thank You card, or give the jerk at work a retirement gift and what better way to say “Get Well Soon” than with a pair of socks?  Let your imagination be your palette and see where it takes you.  Who knows?  You could end up even treating yourself to a little Swedish mysig.

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And now I’ve added Sockamore socks to my collection

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photos by Lady C (Carolyn Bourcier)

5 Reasons Why I Love Autumn

autumnI’ve already said I hate summer, so chances are good I’m on Satan’s shortlist of souls he’d like to meet and greet — permanently.  Hating summer is like seeing an ugly baby and then actually saying it : everybody kinda agrees with you, but nobody’s on your side.  However, as the man said, “If you’re going to Hell anyway, you might as well just keep driving.”  So summer might not actually suck — all the time — but here are 5 reasons why I prefer autumn.

Autumn is active — When summer is over, you can actually do things again — like walking down the street or standing waiting for a bus — without feeling like a tributary of the Amazon is flowing down the back of your shirt and into your underwear.

Autumn is cozy — There is nothing better than a fuzzy sweater on a chilly evening.  And is there anybody in this world who doesn’t like fat, warm socks?  These are two of life’s priceless little pleasures that release tons of endorphins.  Unfortunately, they’re not available to us when the temperature is 36 degrees in the shade — and there ain’t no shade.  It is my considered opinion that the lack of fuzzy sweaters and fat socks is why people in desert countries are so grouchy all the time.

Autumn moves — Summer doesn’t move.  It just lies on you like a Hot Fudge Quilt.  Autumn, on the other hand, lives on the breeze.  You can taste it in the early morning, fresh as that first cup of coffee.  It plays in the trees like Peter Pan having a giggle.  It swirls and twirls tiny tornados of leaves at your feet, teases your hair like a casual lover and sends you to bed with an extra blanket tucked up to your chin.

Autumn is made of soup — There is only so much cremated cow a man can stand.  Autumn is the time for great cauldrons of things that sound and bubble and fill up the house with steam and smell and plenty; served in great bowls with bread or in a thick mug, balanced just right between you and your book.

And finally:

Autumn is serious — When the temperature starts to drop in the Northern Hemisphere, we all have this weird cultural memory that “Winter is Coming” and it’s going to try to kill us.  We don’t lay in stocks of food and firewood anymore, but we do subconsciously put away the toys of summer and assemble our tools.  That’s why God made “Back to School” sales.

It might still be three weeks until Autumn is “officially” here, but Mother Nature and I always start early — right after Labour Day.  And I can see it from here.