A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society
Unfortunately, I’m losing my fear of nuclear holocaust, climate change and a global pandemic because I’m beginning to believe that long before any of these disasters befalls us, our society is going to implode under the weight of its own stupidity. Let me explain. I was waiting in a doctor’s office when I happened to read something stupid on Twitter. No big deal, right? However, I was bored, so I googled “stupid tweets” and faster than I could say, “OMG! You’re a moron!” I was swamped. It turns out there are entire websites and YouTube channels (lots of them) devoted to Twitter idiots. Who knew? In less than 20 minutes, I gleaned what you see here, and I can’t imagine what I would have come up with if I had put some muscle into the research. It really begs the question: Are these The Final Days?
Disclaimer: These have been heavily edited because our society a) can’t spell, b) wouldn’t know punctuation if it bit them on the bum and c) is obsessed with obscenities.
How big is the specific ocean?
What’s the capital of Africa?
What is Obama’s last name? Does anybody even know?
If airplanes can fly, why don’t we just fly them to Mars and shit and quit wasting so much money on rockets?
How do I get YouTube to come and film me? I do a lot of funny things, but I can’t find out where to message them to come and film me.
The Olsen twins are so awesome, and they’re sisters with the same birthday. How cool is that?
This guy even got a reply
Is the iFold Tower in France?
It’s not the iFold Tower; it’s the Eyeful Tower, and it’s in Europe – dumbass!
When they filmed Jurassic Park, how did they get so close to the dinosaurs? I don’t understand. #confused
I’m pregnant. Will my baby have all my tattoos? #worried
I don’t like dolphins anymore. Squirrels are my favourite reptile now.
I’m going to stay a virgin for my whole life — so I can set a good example for my children.
I ate so many cookies I think I’m going to die of beaties.
What kind of meat is lamb? Beef or pork? I’m not supposed to eat pork, so I need to know.
If Trump gets elected, I’m leaving America and moving to California.
We did 30 songs in 3 days – 75% written and 40% freestyle.
Why did that Facebook guy offer 3 billion to buy Snapchat when he could have just downloaded it from the App Store for free?
How does the water in a waterfall get back up to the top?
Why the hell did Benjamin Franklin have to invent lightning /:
Is NASA stupid? Don’t they realize that every time they launch a shuttle, it puts a hole in the ozone layer which causes …
And as a bonus, a couple of celebrities:
Why are all the buildings in NYC standing straight up? If earth is round, then some of the buildings would have a slight tilt.
Hello, Facebook. Yes, this is actually Lindsay. Welcome to my Facebook page.
And possibly the stupidest man on the planet. (There were several Tweets to choose from.)
If we exhale more than we inhale, we feed the plants. This will end world hunger.