A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society
You really can’t talk about mom without getting all squishy — especially less than 48 hours before her special day. But, let’s face it: there have to be some moms out there who aren’t worth the name. Mothers who, for some reason, flunked out of Mom School and are just totally bad at the job. We’ve all met them, but for the most part, we give them a free pass because mom is the toughest occupation in history. The truth is, although any woman can be a biological mother, it takes an exceptional person to be a mom. Here are just a few examples of what it takes to be a mom. I’m sure there are others.
Moms know when to shut up. – Good day/bad day, headache, massive gastric distress or bird poop on her favourite jacket: it doesn’t matter what kind of a crappy day a mom is having; she will always set it aside to listen to your problems.
Moms knows when to look the other way. – Whether it’s a pile of unattended toys or a “No, mom. I’m just tired,” teenage hangover, moms realize that not everything is etched in stone. We all do stupid stuff growing up (and keep doing it when we’re adults) but moms have an uncanny ability to overlook things that are not worth looking at.
Moms understand food. – Even in the 21st century, when traditional mom stuff is being attacked on all sides, food is still hardwired into a mom’s DNA. She knows how much is too much ice cream, why Brussels Sprouts are verboten at Thanksgiving, and which pizza cures a broken heart. Sometimes it’s a favourite dessert, sometimes strategically placed leftovers or sometimes just tea on a lonely afternoon, but all moms use food like a culinary antibiotic.
Moms are always first. – Moms might sometimes be the first one to point out where you screwed up (normally for your own good?) but they’re always the first to defend your sorry ass when you do.
Moms know the difference. – Legend has it that moms can identify their child’s cry from across a playground. Maybe. But the truth is moms can instinctively tell which blood curdling scream is a medical emergency and which one is a candidate for a hug and a Band-Aid. This only gets better with age, BTW, so what you might believe is a life-ending divorce your mom knows is only a minor detour on the road to grandchildren.
But the most important thing that makes a mother a mom is:
Moms never give up. – The difference between a mom and Davy Crockett at the Alamo is – uh – nothing! No matter how many years it takes, your mom is going to be the last mom standing between you and the cold world. You may have been crossing the street by yourself for 40 years, but every time you do it, your mom is worried that you didn’t look both ways. A mom never tires, never wavers and never takes a day off. She knows you better than anyone else on the planet – warts and all. And she might not say it every time; she might not show it every time; she might not even think it every time; but from before you’re even born, she always has your best interests at heart – every time.