Author: wdfyfe

Before WD called himself a writer, he worked at a number of different jobs from stacking lumber to interior design. He studied English at UBC and creative writing at ASU where one of his teachers, Rita Dove, taught him the importance of the tale. He has written for radio, magazines and newspapers, but never television. He’s published both fiction and nonfiction in Great Britain and the US. He reads French passably and speaks enough Spanish to get from A to B and find the toilet. He has interviewed John Cleese, Peter Ustinov, Margaret Drabble, Kenneth Branagh and enough other famous people to make him a hopeless name dropper. His not-so-secret passions are history and trivia, and he has never lost a game of Trivial Pursuit — although he did come 4th one drunken Quiz Night at the Uxbridge in Notting Hill. He lives on the Pacific Ocean, although, not close enough to see, so he spends his days looking at a computer screen. It’s a wonderful life and he has only one regret: he can’t type faster.

The State Department: Who’s Running the Show?

I hate to complain, but, seriously, who’s running American foreign policy these days?  Scooby Doo?  It’s common knowledge that Hillary is going home in January to run for president, but as lame ducks go, she’s lamer than most.  And where is the heir apparent?  Nobody’s going to convince me that Susan Rice’s duties at the UN are keeping her from voicing an opinion now and then.  I know she prefers a low profile, but how much time does it take to sit there and get insulted?  It’s becoming obvious to everybody from Beijing to Benghazi that the ship of state down at the State Department doesn’t have a captain — or a first mate, for that matter.

There was a time when American foreign policy was so successful it was universally hated, kinda like the New York Yankees.  It fought a World War, a Cold War, several itty bitty hot ones, managed to keep its friends from killing each other and kept its enemies at bay.  Even in the dark days of Henry the K and Barbara Walters, American diplomacy had a purpose and, like it or not, Pax Americana worked.  Better hurry, boys, ‘cause that boat’s about to sail.

I realize that there’s a new reality in the world.  Omnipotence is not all it’s cracked up to be, and gargantuan power is useless unless you can fake the other guy into thinking you’ll use it.  The problem is nobody’s even worried about the bluff anymore.  To continue the analogy, America is still sitting there with Aces over Kings, but every penny ante wannabe with Jack high is rushing the table to go “All In.”  The rationale is somebody’s going to get an easy pot when the boys and girls from Foggy Bottom fold.

Objectively, I don’t blame the folks from Katphoodistan for challenging American power.  After all, what have they got to lose?  The only thing Obama’s going to launch these days is his teleprompter.  My problem is America is giving away the diplomatic farm.  That’s not a good idea.  As the United States’ most cautious neighbour, I really don’t want a bunch of international adventurers thinking that Barak isn’t keeping his bayonets sharp.  Frankly, anti-Americanism is a low-impact parlour game for the people who believe that without the Great Satan, everybody on earth would suddenly get a rainbow.  Me?  I’m a little bit less Pollyanna than that.  There are bad people in this world, and when push comes to shove, I don’t want to have to prove I can defend myself.  I find it quite a bit more to my taste (as most people west of the Vistula do) to sit on the sidelines and rely on the kids from Kansas and Nebraska to stand up and take the hit.  And that’s the bigger problem.

Power, real power, is not based on what you do; it’s based on what you’re willing to do.  As more and more people think the United States is not willing to do anything to … Oh, I don’t know … make sure a bunch of fascist fundamentalists from the 8th century don’t develop nuclear weapons and turn Tel Aviv into a glow-in-the-dark Mediterranean night light — the more likely it is that somebody’s going to get hurt.  America’s indecision and inability to figure out where its national interest lies is inadvertently telling the world it’s in retreat from the international stage.  More than a few folks out there are willing to take the risk to fill the void. In fact, every time America steps away from its allies (Britain, Israel, South Korea, Japan — and the list goes on) every time American diplomats fear for their safety; every time some pumped-up potentate gets a mixed message about American intentions; those emboldened few lurch us a little closer to somebody doing something stupid.  And I’m not even necessarily talking about the bad guys!  When that happens, as history has shown us, a whole lot of people are going to have to clean up the mess.

America needs to remember that deterrent is not action.  (That’s after the fact.)  Deterrent is reputation and without a reputation, there is no deterrent.

The Information Gap and the Re-elect of Barack Obama

When I was young, people were just beginning to talk about the Generation Gap; that mythical disconnect between the young and the old that coloured so much of my generation.  Time passed, and as the Class of ’68 got older, this phenom morphed into the Credibility Gap.  After all, whining about the older generation when you’re standing there with a husband, a boyfriend, a mortgage, two cars and three kids just sounds silly.  However, the Credibility Gap was significantly different from “You’re an old, old dog and I’m a young, young puppy; I simply can’t relate to you.*”  It was no longer just a function of age.  Credibility had an active ingredient.  It could be lost; it had to be maintained, and there was always the connotation that, when credibility was lost, it was through some wanton act of deception – a dirty deed, if you will.  From there, maybe a generation later, the Credibility Gap itself mutated and became the Information Gap.  As more and more spin was applied to even the most basic facts, nearly everything that wasn’t nailed down lost its credibility.  People simply didn’t believe the information they were given.  However, the fiction that credibility – or, rather, the lack of it — was inherently tangled up with something sinister survived and, in fact, thrived.  The supposition was — and remains to this day — “If I don’t believe you, you must be evil.”

Fast forward to 2012 and the American election.  Last week, a George Washington University poll showed some astonishing results.  In six out of six categories (the economy, foreign policy, spending, taxes, Medicare and job creation) the American middle class favoured Mitt Romney over President Barack Obama, and not just by a little bit: they ranged from 2% on Medicare to 15% on spending.  Yes, this throws a monkey wrench into the “Romney’s finished” school of thought, but before you get your knickers in a knot, the really interesting bit is in the seventh category, “Who best stands up for the middle class?”  Barack Obama beat Mitt’s brains out — by a whopping plus 8%!  Think about it!  In all the hard core categories that count, people favour Romney, yet, on the wishy-washy “How do you feel about it?” category that leads directly to the ballot box, President Obama won, hands down.  This is an example of the Information Gap.

Everybody knows that Barack Obama is not a very good president.  Even Yellow Dog Democrats are beating the bushes, trying to find good things to say about the guy.  The best they can come up with so far is he inherited a hell of a mess and the Republicans are being mean to him.  While these are both true, unfortunately, folks, neither one of them is what anybody would call an accomplishment.  Especially since he got hired in the first place because he specifically told everybody, from Stockholm to Santa Barbara, that he was the new broom who would deal with these situations and with anything else that came down the pike.  What a difference a term makes!  I’m not going to get into chapter and verse about how bad the Obama administration is; however, I will say this: nobody’s talking about a Golden Age in America these days, not even Alec Baldwin.  In fact, most people are discussing the eminent decline and fall.  These are facts.  The apologists can bob and weave all they like, but, to quote John Adams: “Facts are stubborn things and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.”  The facts are the last four years in America have been the closest thing to a disaster without actually getting there.

Okay, you have an incumbent president who isn’t worth much; one would assume that Harold the Talking Penguin could beat the guy.  Nay-Nay!  Not only is Obama holding his own, he’s actually leading in a number of important (read “swing”) states.  Barack Obama has a real chance of getting re-elected.  Why?  Because his opponent, Mitt Romney, is rich, and the talk around the campfire is rich people can’t be trusted.  The assumption is Romney will somehow subvert the government (that dirty deed we were talking about) to further the ends of his rich friends.  There is no evidence of this: no smoking gun at Bain and Company, no skeletons discovered at the 2002 Winter Olympics and no bodies buried at the Governor’s Mansion in Massachusetts.  Yet the rumour persists.

This is the Information Gap taken to its natural conclusion.  The last four years have shown that — at best — President Obama is incompetent, and some would say downright negligent.  On the other hand, Mitt Romney has been a successful business person, a community organizer who rescued the 2002 Winter Olympics, and a fiscally responsible governor who eliminated Massachusetts’ deficit.  Yet, despite all the information available and the fact that 62% of Americans believe the country is headed in the wrong direction, there is a better than even chance that the American people will give Barack Obama a mandate to continue to govern them badly.  Go figure!

*Sesame Street or The Electric Company; I don’t remember which.

You Might be a West Coaster If….

The story goes that a true Cockney must be born within the sound of Bow Bells – or, more precisely, within the sound of the bells of St. Mary-le-Bow church.  Nice try!  St. Mary-le-Bow church was destroyed in the Great Fire of London in 1666, and although it was eventually rebuilt, it was destroyed again during the Blitz in 1941.  Actually, there’s hasn’t been a maternity ward in the East End of London for nearly fifty years.  Likewise, it’s said that only a true Southerner can tell the difference between a Redneck and White Trash.  I’ve personally put that one to the test and have discovered that the Mason-Dixon Line has got nothing to do with either one.  You don’t have to look very hard to find Rednecks as far north as the Arctic Circle, and if you’re looking for White Trash, check out the Mall – any Mall – anywhere – including France.

My point is that these labels, Cockney, Southerner, Boston Brahmin, Highlander, Romany Gypsy etc. etc. might refer to a physical location, but they are also a state of mind, a way of doing business that is recognizable regardless of where you live.

For example, the West Coast of North America is populated by people who are markedly different from those of the rest of the continent.  Obviously, these are the folks stuck somewhere between a range of coastal mountains and the Pacific Ocean.  (Actually, it’s everybody from the Whistler/Blackcomb Ski Resort in Canada south to San Diego, California.)  But it’s also an attitude that transcends time and space.  Therefore, as a public service, I have compiled a list that will help you find out if you are a West Coaster — even if you don’t live there.  FYI, I have never heard of Jeff Foxworthy.  I do not know he is a comedian.  I have never seen his “You Might be a Redneck” routine on HBO, YouTube or anywhere else.  Any resemblance between it and this blog is purely coincidental.

So, you might be a West Coaster if:

You’re on a first name basis with more than one barista.

Your yoga pants have actually been to yoga.

Nobody you know has an opinion about snow tires.

Dogs and cats have birthday parties, too.

Your lawyer’s a witch.

Swag is a biodegradable lunch bag and a reusable coffee cup.

You carry your own filtered drinking water.

Your roommate was the best man and the maid of honor at your cousin’s wedding.

Your winter wardrobe is a scarf.

You know how to get to at least one Vegan restaurant – on the bus.

You have Feng Shui on speed dial.

Flip flops are for everyday wear; sandals are formal.

Your other car is a bicycle.

Your best friend’s children are named Mowayva Daisy, Last Lost Star and Jedfire.

You serve sushi on Thanksgiving.

You’ve smoked most of the plants in your herb garden.

You call soccer “futbol” and watch it religiously — once every four years.

You read the New Yorker — even though you don’t live in New York and, in fact, have never been there.