Category: Social Media

The Death Of Common Sense

common senseIt is with great sadness that I must announce the death of Common Sense.  Even though Common Sense had suffered from a debilitating illness for many years, few, if any of us, realized it was terminal — until it was too late.  Early reports say that it was not one massive act of utter Stupidity that killed Common Sense but years of petty Ignorance that simply destroyed Common Sense’s will to live.  Common Sense was predeceased by its lifelong partner, Pragmatism, and is survived by its children, Reason and Logic, who have vowed to continue their parents’ work.  Our thoughts and prayers are with the family at this time.

There is no clear record of the birth of Common Sense, but there are numerous documented examples of its accomplishments throughout human history.  Unfortunately, despite these many accolades, these days, Common Sense’s abilities and achievements are largely ignored.  And while it’s true some older people still remember Common Sense, it’s difficult for most people to imagine that Common Sense once practically ruled the world and had many devoted followers.  Sadly, those days are gone — perhaps forever.

Clearly, however, not everyone is saddened by this tragedy.  Politically Correct immediately took to Social Media to celebrate the demise of their greatest foe.

“Fry in Hell, Common Sense!”

“We totally reject the so-called ‘Common Sense Approach’ to problem solving.  Solutions do nothing to promote awareness of the issues.”

“Ding Dong! Descartes is Dead.
Ideology cut off his head.
Ding Dong! Rene Descartes is dead.”

“Very uncool to use the ‘D’ word — and completely insensitive to people who have experienced (or will eventually experience) loss when friends or family pass.”

“Common Sense was an antiquated relic of the Eurocentric Enlightenment that has no place in our contemporary, ideologically diverse world.”

“Although we do not support Stupidity and Ignorance, we do recognize their legitimate struggle to reshape the narrative away from Common Sense’s solution-based agenda.”

“Aristotle was a misogynist, a xenophobic racist and probably a slave owner, and we call on all educators and pedagogues to stand together and erase his name from the curriculum.  We also call on all institutions of higher learning to remove his likeness or graven image from their physical environment.

“Reason & Logic — u r next!”

As yet, no funeral arrangements have been made, but it was Common Sense’s dying wish to be buried alongside Humour, Satire and Irony, childhood friends who were brutally murdered during the Culture Wars of the 1990s.

In lieu of flowers, the family has requested that mourners turn off Twitter and Facebook for A Moment of Cyber-Silence in memory of Common Sense’s ability to elevate the conversation beyond Internet trolling.

Rest In Peace, Common Sense.  You will be missed.

Selfies — Snapshots Of Who We Are

selfie
My Only Selfie

Although not all of us are addicted to taking endless self portraits, the Selfie is as common in our society as the codpiece once was in the Elizabethan world.  It’s our public face in Cyberspace.  It tells the world what we think of ourselves.  We do it to denote major events in our lives, trivial occurrences and pure boredom.  It’s the one thing we can say when we have nothing to say.  However, the selfie also offers some serious insights into our contemporary culture.

One — The selfie is documented proof that there’s a ton of people on this planet who actually believe they’re creative, imaginative and witty.  Unfortunately, the selfie is a doubled-edged sword — it also proves they’re not.  Perhaps the Duckface, the Rocker Devil Horns or the Gangsta Thug Crotch were brilliant and unique the first 50 million times they were done, but since then?  Not so much.  Likewise, nobody’s fooled by Photoshopped boobs anymore and half-naked photos in the toilet mirror aren’t actually sexy.  Think about it — it’s where you go to poop!  Oh, and BTW, holding up or kicking down the Leaning Tower of Pisa has been done to death.  For God’s sake!  Give it a rest!

Two — Like the Elizabethan codpiece, selfies are an In-Your-Face demonstration of just how bloated our egos have become.  Our Shakespearean ancestors thought strapping on an enormous strap-on was telling the world they were cool, trending,  popular and sexy.  The contemporary selfie works the same way.  Yes, it’s impossible to ignore, but there’s nothing particularly appealing about it, either.  There isn’t a whole lot of difference between a 16th century dandy striding around wearing the latest in See-My-Dick fashions and a 21st century millennial posting endless “See me, Seeee Meee, SEE ME!” photos of themselves at the bakery, waiting for a bus or eating a hot dog.  In fact, it takes exactly the same amount of over-inflated ego to think anybody even cares.  Look, there are seven billion people in this world, and the only reason the vast majority of them even look at selfies anymore is to find the hilarious ones.

And finally:

Three — The selfie, by its very name, indicates you have no friends — or at least no friends who like you enough to take your photograph.  How’s that for an ego killer?

Leisure — The First 40,000 Years

leisureForget the Stone Age, the Bronze Age, The Age of Enlightenment, The Space Age and even The Post-Industrial Age: all human history can be divided into two distinct periods — The Age of Work and the Age of Leisure.  Our great-great-great-grandparents lived in the Age of Work; we live in The Age of Leisure.  And that, in a nutshell, is why Western Society is speeding towards the Abyss of Hell like a runaway stagecoach full of passengers shouting “WTF happened?”

Let me explain.

Give or take a day or two, human history is really only about 40,000 years long.  (Before that, it’s kinda iffy — unless you’re specifically trained to spot the difference between a stone used as an axe and an axe made out of a stone.  Even mega-smart anthropologists argue about that one.)  Anyway, for the first 39,750 years of understandable history humans worked … dawn to dusk, every day … like … endlessly.  That’s what they did and they did it because there was only one alternative.  Oops, sorry: you’re dead.  They had a purpose — work your ass off and improve your lot in life, or face the alternative.  Things was simple in those days.

Then, about 250 years ago, a guy by the name of James Watt showed up.  History tells us that Watt invented the steam engine.  (He didn’t actually, but that’s a different tale.)  What history doesn’t tell us is that Watt, by setting off the Industrial Revolution, inadvertently created leisure.

There are all kinds of myths about the brutality of the Industrial Revolution, but the reality is machines started doing our work for us.  People, therefore, didn’t have to spend all their waking hours just trying to survive anymore.  They started doing other things — leisure activities.  (It’s no coincidence that book, magazine and newspaper sales went through the stratosphere in the 19th century.)  Slowly at first, but steadily, leisure (an unknown term before 1836) became an essential component of our modern world.  But now — in the 21st century — it has turned into a monster.

We spend millions on young people who kick, hit and throw a variety of balls around — and billions more to watch them do it.  We spend millions on people who sing to us, tells us stories or tell us what to wear.  We spend so much money on the film industry and spend so much time watching television that even Stephen Hawking can’t imagine the numbers.  We have created celebrities who literally have no redeeming qualities; they just exist, and we worship them.  We spend more time and energy playing video games than we do deciding who will govern us.  My God!  Has our world gone crazy?

For the vast majority of human history, leisure was an occasional activity that took us away from the soul-eating brutality of endless toil.  However, these days, leisure has become the reason we exist, and we’re so addicted to relentless entertainment we can’t see beyond binge-watching Full House reruns.

See you at the abyss!