Normally, ten minutes after the Oscars are over, I’ve quit complaining and moved on. However, this year, bland as Oscar has become, there was a bunch of stuff that stuck with me. Nothing earth-shattering, but just a few random thoughts beyond who won for Best Animated Short Subject.
For the third year running, Hollywood fashions suck.
I have no clue who Billy Porter is, but apparently he’s a “fashion activist” — and if that isn’t a contradiction in terms, I don’t know what is.
Bare shoulders and dragging hemlines are ridiculous trends outside California in the middle of February.
Kirsten Wiig came dressed as a large red lasagna noodle.
Diane Keaton remains trapped inside Annie Hall.
Joaquin Phoenix remains trapped in 1968, definitely takes his coffee black and really, really likes cows.
Tom Hanks is such a good actor he replaced both Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson as the Old Person in the Front Row.
When Brie Larson, Sigourney Weaver and Gal Gadot come out together to present an award, you know the fix is in.
“Let It Go” is a way better song than “Into the Unknown.”
I’m so old I remember when Elton John was an eccentric heterosexual.
The Oscars would get a lot more people watching if they had cool commercials like the Super Bowl.
Imagine my surprise when Greta showed up!
This is the second time the Joker has won an Oscar, so I’m pretty sure Helena Bonham Carter and Elizabeth Banks are at least thinking about it.
If you close your eyes and listen, Jane Fonda is still Barbarella.
From the look on Billie Eilish’s face, she had no idea what Eminem was doing performing at the Oscars (and, quite frankly, neither did I.)
You can make a mediocre year for movies look good if you haul in a bunch of Koreans.
And finally:
Oscar still hates Martin Scorsese.
WD Fyfe 