Random Thoughts – This Week

Today, I’m here — clinging to a dead horse.  I swore, by all that’s holy, I was going to let it go, but I just can’t resist one more kick at the can.  (And, truth be told, it probably won’t be the last one, either.)  So here are a couple of random thoughts about the 3-ring circus our world has recently gotten itself into.

“Hey!  Pepe Le Pew!  No means no!  You deserve to get “cancelled,” ya smelly bugger!  And don’t think you can play the sex addict card either: that isn’t even a real thing.  You’re giving Frenchmen all over the world a bad name with your stupid beret and your phony Charles Boyer accent.  You’re just lucky that little cat doesn’t know the Roadrunner.  You wouldn’t be quite so frisky with an Acme anvil dropped on your ass.  Get some help, ya perv!”

On a more serious note.  Now that the book burners are lighting the torches again, maybe it’s time we pulled Ray Bradbury out of the hat.  After all, he warned us this would happen — back in 1953 (at the height of the McCarthy era witch hunts, BTW) when he wrote Fahrenheit 451.  But he also offered a solution.  In his novel, when the world goes crazy and starts banning burning books, the Resistance realizes the futility of talking sense to these nutbars and simply hides the books they’re trying to ban burn.  Then they secretly memorize them so they can’t/won’t be destroyed by the flames of ignorance.  Cool idea, huh?  So, if you or your child have a favourite book, jump up right now, and hide it!  And here’s the good bit: Dr. Seuss books are really easy to memorize.  I’ve already done Green Eggs and Ham – just in case the vegans start cutting up rough.

Finally, when I see the protestors on the streets in Belarus, Myanmar and Poland, my thoughts go to the bravery of Meghan Markle.  She, too, found herself in peril when she and her family were forced to flee – uh – Canada.  “It’s not safe; it’s not secure” was what Harry told Oprah Winfrey.  One can only imagine the panic the two of them (and little Archie) must have felt, trapped in a country as dangerous as – uh – Canada.  Frankly, I didn’t realize my country was so unsafe (We use “Sorry!” as a personal greeting here) but it must be quite the hellhole if the mean streets of Los Angeles look good in comparison.  Luckily, they somehow managed to get to a private jet and escape before tragedy struck, but it must have been an emotional ordeal. 

On a more personal note — and just to set the record straight — it was the Canadian taxpayer (people like moi) who paid the bill for your security in Canada before you told the Queen to take a hike, Ms. Windsor-Mountbatten.  A thankyou would have been nice.

See ya next week!

Time Flies September 24

Arrivals:

1936 – Jim Henson, the alter-ego of Ernie and Kermit the Frog.  He began using puppets on TV while he was still in college and incorporated a bunch of his creations into Muppets Inc., in 1963.  It was Sesame Street, in 1969 that brought his work to a national audience, and at one time Big Bird was getting more fan mail than any other TV personality.  His other television show The Muppets produced one of the greatest love stories of all time: alter-ego Kermit and ultra-ego Miss Piggy.

1959 – Steve Whitmire, who took over the personalities of Ernie and Kermit the Frog after Jim Henson passed away suddenly in 1990.  Whitmire and Henson were born on the same day.  Coincidence?  I hope so.

1947 – The fictitious date of the fictitious memo supposedly signed by President Truman to create a secret government committee in response to the fictitious alien landing at Roswell in July of 1947.  According to the memo, the committee was called Majestic 12.  The original purpose of Majestic 12 was to coordinate all the alien stuff that the government was hiding from us, but since the memo was a fake in the first place, Majestic 12 has since become the cornerstone of a boatload of UFO conspiracy theories.

1979 – Pioneer computer company CompuServe introduced the first consumer Internet package which included electronic mail.  No! there is no connection between the first e-mail and a fake memo about aliens.

Departures:

1991 – Theodor Seuss Geisel, an author and illustrator.  Dr. Seuss, as he is commonly called, began writing children’s books in 1937.  He has written over 60 of them — about such impressive characters as Horton who heard a Who, the Grinch who tried to steal Christmas and Sam I Am.   His most delightful character, The Cat in the Hat, was created in response to a Life Magazine article about child illiteracy in 1954.  It was published in 1957 and is still a favourite even though it was totally screwed up in the movie.  Seuss is also credited with coining the word “nerd” in his book If I Ran the Zoo.

1994 – Jeff Moss, a composer and lyricist for Sesame Street.  He wrote such classics as “I Love Trash,” “Who are the People in your Neighbourhood,” and “Rubber Duckie.”