A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society
I was at a social engagement recently where a miracle happened and there was quite a bit more wine than there were people. It worked out well. Sometime after the boors and the bores left to haunt somebody else’s life, we started playing a game. It was quite simple; everybody took a turn to wonder out loud about something they’ve never understood. Some of the questions were lame, some were old favourites, some provoked general agreement and others heated discussion, but most of them were interesting insights into the world around us. Here are some of my favourites (as close as I can remember.)
Why can Keanu Reeves be so good in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and The Matrix and suck so badly in everything else?
Why is David Letterman still on television?
Why does everybody win in Vegas except me?
Why, even though every teacher said we had to learn it in high school, doesn’t (3x + 2y) – 12 = (7x + 3y) ever come up in real life?
Why did August get 31 days instead of September?
Why didn’t Darth Vader remember R2D2 and C3P0?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the container?
How come a pizza can get to your house faster than the cops can?
Who cares if a tree falls in the forest?
Why do potatoes have more chromosomes than people do?
Why do dogs hang their heads out the window of a car moving at 60 kph but hate it when you blow in their faces?
Who owns the Internet?
How does aspirin know the difference between a headache and a sore knee?
Why do tornados always attack trailer parks?
Why, whenever there’s a riot anywhere in the world, are the protest signs always in English?
What is déjà vu “really?”
Is the light at the end of the tunnel that people say they see when they’re about to die, just being born again? (I think somebody cheated on this one – just sayin’.)
Why didn’t Gandalf just fly Frodo to the top of Mount Doom on the eagles that rescued him?
Is calling it Mother Nature just a sneaky way of saying God?
Why, when adults talk to kids, dogs and old people do they use the same voice?
Why do light years measure distance not time?
Why didn’t Samantha Stevens realize she was sleeping with the wrong Darren?
And my personal favourite:
Is Harry Potter just a psychotic kid who made up the whole Hogwarts thing to cope with his miserable life, living under the stairs?