Yes, We Have No Vaginas!

monologueA couple of months ago, the students at Mount Holyoke College in Massachusetts decided to cancel the annual VDay performance of The Vagina Monologues.  Apparently, the play is now verboten because it excludes women who do not actually have a vagina.  Thus, in one mighty heave, a venerable old warrior of the feminist revolution was relegated to the scrap heap of history.  “Clear off, sister!  And don’t let the door hit you in the….”

My interest in this is purely intellectual.  After all, I’m not exactly equipped to speak with any authority on the subject.  However,  four glaring questions immediately come to mind:
1 — Did Eve Ensler ever present her drama as the all-inclusive, one-size-fits-all, final statement on the feminine experience?  I don’t think Ms. Ensler can be accused of excluding anyone when, unlike the undergrads at Mount Holyoke, she  never claimed to speak for the approximately 3.5 billion women in the world.
2 — Of the approximately 3.5 billion women in the world, how many:
a – are vagina-less?
b – feel excluded whenever  there’s a performance of The Vagina Monologues?
c – will reap any benefit from Mount Holyoke College’s noble gesture?
3 — Are all vagina-less women oppressed, downtrodden, discriminated against and excluded?  In fact, in the course of human events, how often does the problem even come up?  Personally, I’ve never seen a sign in a restaurant window that reads:

NO shoes
NO shirt
NO vagina
NO service

Nor have I ever seen  the question, “Do you have a vagina?” on any employment, rental or bank loan application.  In fact, of the billions of people walking around this planet, how do the would-be oppressors and discriminators even tell who has a vagina and who doesn’t?  Seriously, how can you possibly exclude an identifiable group when you can’t actually identify them?

And, finally,  4 — It takes a lotta balls for students at a $55,000.00/year WOMEN ONLY college to lecture the rest of us on the evils of being exclusive.

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