Princess Charlotte: The Girl Who Won’t Be Queen

princess charlotteThere are a lot worse things in this world than being George Windsor’s little sister.  As jobs go, being the spare to the heir to the British throne is a pretty good gig.  Just ask Prince Harry.  You don’t have to do all that much and there are plenty of perks —  like palaces and polo.  Although, as a princess, you’re not actually going to be allowed to play polo — you’re just supposed to look good watching it.  Which brings us to the down side of the princess business.

Let’s be honest: being a baby is easy.  Everybody thinks you’re cute.  Nobody cares what you wear.  And you can, if necessary, throw up in public.  Besides, you’re portable and more experienced minds can simply keep you away from embarrassing situations.  Unfortunately, for Princess Charlotte, this isn’t going to last.  As she grows up, she is going to have to face one of the most ruthless bullies in the history of the world — the international media.

Every move she makes, every breath she takes, they’ll be watching her.  And, if history is any indication, there’s always going to be some bitchy somebody out there eager to call her down.  Every hair out of place, every too short/too long dress, every zit, every clumsy pause, every millimetre less than immaculate will be front page news.  And when that isn’t enough to satisfy the headline hunters, even immaculate will be scrutinized.  (Remember her mother was criticized for wearing the same outfit, twice.)  Plus, Princess Charlotte, like her mother before her, is going to be stalked to the limits of the telephoto lens and far beyond the limits of the law.  And when that awkward bikini photography goes viral (and it will) she will have no recourse but to shut up and take it.  At least you and I can sue.

But there’s more.  Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana is Princess Di’s granddaughter, and from now until the end of forever the media is never going to let anybody forget it.  Those are some awfully big Louboutins you’ve got to fill Your Royal Highness.

Personally, I’m glad Prince George has a sister.  Sisters are cool.  And as the years go on, these two are going to need each other.

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