Everyday Orgasms

mouthsIn our neo-Victorian, button-down society, the orgasm has been relegated to a worrisome burden, the subject of bone-dry talk shows and diligent documentaries.  Half the population is searching through the sexual Himalayas, trying desperately to even glimpse this mythical beast, while the other half is pleading with God that they don’t find it too soon.  If we ever want to enjoy sex again without a bunch of know-it-all phobia-ists looking over our shoulder, we need to release the orgasm from its sexual handcuffs.  We can do it!  There is an inner Meg Ryan in all of us, just straining to get out.  Check out the list of situations below and honestly ask yourself if you haven’t, in fact, already experienced an Everyday Orgasm.

Cold feet — warm socks.

Somebody else made that fresh pot of coffee.

You discover Netflix has put up Season 4!

After two hours of foreplay, the computer magically does as it’s told.

Your tongue finally gets that raspberry seed out of your teeth.

Finding the perfect parking spot and there’s money left on the meter!

Grandma brought cake.

The first fart after a long and formal evening.

The person who’s scratching your back is in exactly the right spot.

And finally, after years of extensive research among the majority of my friends, the #1 best everyday orgasm:

Kicking off your heels and unhooking your bra after the mother of all crappy days at work.

I’m sure I’ve miss a few.  Use the comments to complete the list.

2 thoughts on “Everyday Orgasms

  1. In Hebrew, it is called “hatzi ziyun” – “half a fuck”. So yes, I routinely experience those. An example is being able to piss after a prolonged period of holding it.

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