WD Fyfe

A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society

Everyday Orgasms

mouthsIn our neo-Victorian, button-down society, the orgasm has been relegated to a worrisome burden, the subject of bone-dry talk shows and diligent documentaries.  Half the population is searching through the sexual Himalayas, trying desperately to even glimpse this mythical beast, while the other half is pleading with God that they don’t find it too soon.  If we ever want to enjoy sex again without a bunch of know-it-all phobia-ists looking over our shoulder, we need to release the orgasm from its sexual handcuffs.  We can do it!  There is an inner Meg Ryan in all of us, just straining to get out.  Check out the list of situations below and honestly ask yourself if you haven’t, in fact, already experienced an Everyday Orgasm.

Cold feet — warm socks.

Somebody else made that fresh pot of coffee.

You discover Netflix has put up Season 4!

After two hours of foreplay, the computer magically does as it’s told.

Your tongue finally gets that raspberry seed out of your teeth.

Finding the perfect parking spot and there’s money left on the meter!

Grandma brought cake.

The first fart after a long and formal evening.

The person who’s scratching your back is in exactly the right spot.

And finally, after years of extensive research among the majority of my friends, the #1 best everyday orgasm:

Kicking off your heels and unhooking your bra after the mother of all crappy days at work.

I’m sure I’ve miss a few.  Use the comments to complete the list.

Advertisements

2 comments on “Everyday Orgasms

  1. Michael
    May 27, 2015

    In Hebrew, it is called “hatzi ziyun” – “half a fuck”. So yes, I routinely experience those. An example is being able to piss after a prolonged period of holding it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on May 19, 2015 by in Humor, Humour, Popular Culture and tagged , , .
Follow WD Fyfe on WordPress.com

COOL OLD STUFF

BLOG STATS

  • 458,105 hits
%d bloggers like this: