WD Fyfe

A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society

Conspiracy Theories

conspiracyThe world is full of conspiracy theories and they’re all bullshit.  The Masons didn’t start World War I.  Rockefeller and the Rothchilds didn’t organize the Stock Market Crash in 1929.  Aliens didn’t land in Roswell, New Mexico.  The Mafia didn’t kill Kennedy.  Neil Armstrong did walk on the moon, and — for God’s sake — Dick Cheney didn’t take down the Twin Towers on 9/11 for Haliburton or anyone else.  What a boatload of nonsense!

I have a friend who loves these conspiracies.  He saves them up to vex me.  He’s one of the smartest people I know, but he’s absolutely convinced that we’re being lied to by any number of secret societies and/or government agencies.  To be fair, in the age of Julian Assange and Edward Snowden, he’s got a point.  However, it’s a huge stretch from the Ministry of Finance fudging the unemployment numbers to the Illuminati keeping aliens in the basement of the White House.

Everybody knows that conspiracy theories can be a lot of fun when you’ve opened that second bottle of wine after dinner, but the next morning?  Please!  Here’s the deal.  Every single conspiracy theory works on the same set of assumptions.  So let me put them to rest.

1 — One doesn’t not find overwhelming scientific evidence on The Discovery Channel, A&E, Facebook, Twitter or some out-of-print book you bought at Goodwill.  Sorry!  Overwhelming scientific evidence is that mountain of totally boring crap that the world’s scientific community generally agrees on.  In any reasonable discussion, it is their expertise that takes precedence — not some guy on YouTube, who claims to be an eye witness.  And, BTW, just because you and your girlfriend agree it’s a scientific fact, that doesn’t make it so.  Actually, without serious documentation it isn’t even a fact.

2 — The mainstream media has not been either cowed or coerced into ignoring some of the greatest news stories of all time.  Use your head!  Kim Kardashian flashes her North West Passage on Instagram, and every news outlet from Malibu to Mars covers it.  The reason Fox, CNN, MSNBC, BBC and Al Jazeera aren’t going wall-to-wall on the Alien Autopsy is because there never was one.

3 — It’s not reasonable to believe that a secret society and/or government agency capable of harnessing the huge resources needed to perpetrate a vast, worldwide conspiracy will then make a series of stupid mistakes that point directly to their nefarious purpose – errors so glaring that a teenager with a Pause button can figure them out in less than an hour.  Or even worse, why would a secret society and/or government agency ever leave an array of clues which actually reveal their cunning plan?  That kinda defeats the whole purpose of having a conspiracy in the first place.

4 — Likewise, in the army of people needed to pull off even the simplest cover-up — from the original planners to the guy who makes the sandwiches — it beggars belief that not one person, in not one conspiracy, ever had a crisis of conscience and suddenly confessed.  The laws of anti-chance alone dictate that somebody, somewhere, got drunk one night and told their lover – or their mother what they’re doing in Area 51.  Imagine, the joint custody dad in the messy divorce, “Look kids, aliens!  Betcha mom and her fancy man can’t do that?  Who’s the coolest dad EVER!”

I could go on for pages, documenting every conspiracy theory ever known for the hopeless Swiss cheese it is, but a picture is worth a thousand words.  Check out this very short Ted Talks video from Rives.  It is the ultimate mini-documentary on conspiracy theories.

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3 comments on “Conspiracy Theories

  1. Amit Prasad
    January 20, 2016

    “I mean, Im a conspiracy theorist, to a degree. I connect dots that shouldnt be connected” -Dave Chappelle on Oprah

    I was hoping for something more, with substance. This is your blog. It is merely an opinion piece, I get it. We now live in the modern age of information and people are held accountable for everything they say. Everything is copied, collated and stored for future reference.

    Im used to reading papers and even opinions that back up their claims with some kind of evidence (even if it might be bullshit) but atleast the individual is trying. So an opportunity for rebuttal is possible.

    Here, there is nothing tangible here for me to hold to. This is nothing more than a shell of an argument that holds no weight. Even Conspiracy Theorists( a term invented by the CIA), know that if they make any outlandish claims they must back it up with some evidence, good or bad.

    You dont like evidence, even if it goes against your belief system. In your last post I backed up my opinion on a certain American space program with some evidence. Yet, you didnt reply or give it any attention. Regular folks, dont like real evidence that goes against the narrative they were fed. Here -and in the past- you display the same attitude. As for scientific, peer-reviewed papers, thats a whole other issue i will not delve into. But trust me, you have much to learn in the area of science.

    I can easily give more evidence on topics you could try to refute but we both know youll reply with a question instead of dealing with scientific facts. LOL

    As scientists, it is drilled into our heads that we must question everything and we need to test our hypothesis over and over again before we can make a solid theory. No, not all scientists are created equal, neither are all doctors or lawyers. My point is that you are knowledgeable but dont display an open mind to criticism based on MY experience.

    Im not go on anymore because Im sure it will fall on deaf ears. In the future it wont kill you to back up your claims with some evidence, otherwise all im reading is verbal diarrhea.

    BUT lets just go with your way. ITS ALL JUST CONSPIRACY. The meat industry treats its animals humanely. McDonalds really does care for its employees. Junkfoods arent laced with chemicals that enter the pleasure centres of our brains. Exon Valdez didnt have an oil spill. BP oil company and all the others are all just about providing high quality fuel to its consumers. There are no such things as sweatshops. Our presidents really are chosen by the people.

    And our hospitals are not the size of Universities. Youre right, we as a people are as healthy as our grandparents and the quality of the foods have always remained the same.

    Anything else, you want your readers to mop up?

    • wdfyfe
      January 21, 2016

      Wow! Good one!

      • Amit Prasad
        January 21, 2016

        Hahahah thankyou good sir

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This entry was posted on January 19, 2016 by in Popular Culture, Social Comment and tagged , .
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