A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society
Summer isn’t over yet, but it’s so close I can smell the leaves thinking about dropping off the trees. Yahoo! So, it’s time to get serious again ’cause serious is the new sexy. (Well — not really — but smart guys can dream.) Anyway, sexy is that elusive quality that some people have and most people want. Personally, I think it’s hidden away in our DNA somewhere, just screaming to get out. Unfortunately, most of us are kinda deaf. Fortunately, though, after years of research, I’ve come up with a few clothing ideas guaranteed to transform the inner dork we all possess into the sensual creature we all want to be. So forget leather and lace, folks: here’s what you need to look sexy — and if ya look sexy, you’re gonna feel sexy — and if ya feel sexy, trust me, that’s all ya need.
Boots — A gentlemen might wear Oxford brogues, but bad boys wear boots.
Slingback heels — Leave the stilettos in the closet, girls; they’re overkill. Sexy is subtle. All you need is enough heel to make that light, crisp click when you walk — ’cause that tells the world you’re female.
Gloves — I don’t even have to explain this one.
Matching underwear — Nobody knows but you, and there’s nothing sexier than secrets.
An Armani suit — Women look at Armani the way men look at lingerie.
Tight White T-shirts — This inexpensive little item transcends gender. Keep it tight, keep it electric white, and — whatever you do — don’t go nuts with the neckline.
Levis — Like the t-shirt, levis don’t care if you’re male or female, but when they’re worn properly, even the casual observer should be able to tell the difference — from a distance.
A Hat — Ladies only. Unfortunately, most men have no idea how to wear a hat properly, and they usually end up looking like somebody’s Uncle Ernie. On the other hand, give a woman — any woman — a hat and she’s suddenly more sophisticated — and a helluva lot more fun.
But the sexiest thing on the planet is:
Sunglasses — If the eyes are the windows of the soul, sunglasses make everyone mysterious — the central ingredient in sexy. Sunglasses are made for spies, movie stars and fighter pilots. But the weird thing is you don’t even have to wear sunglasses to be sexy. Just put them in your hair, hang them from your shirt or, hell, even hold them in your hand. Take them off with one hand, put them on with two, twist them, twirl them, chew on their ends. Even the simple gesture of tilting them down to peek over the top is worth two Don Juans and a Mata Hari. Total sex! The fact is, sunglasses are so sexy they ought to be “adults only.”