As I get older, I realize a ton of people are a lot smarter than I am. When I look at the world (even wearing my rose-coloured glasses) mostly all I see is benign chaos. However, some people can look through all that and see where the little bits of truth are hiding. These are the folks who instantly grasp an idea, distill it down to a single sentence, flip it onto their tongues and then effortlessly blend it into the conversation. I know envy is one of the 7 Deadly Sins, but, for all the world, I envy these people ’cause on the rare occasions when I do that, I spend the rest of the day walking just a little taller. Here are some examples and each one, when read carefully, demonstrates some serious understanding of the world we live in.
Journalism largely consists of saying “Lord Jones is dead,” to people who didn’t know he was alive.
The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 am.
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
It’s dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks for a funeral.
The trouble with her is she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
George Bernard Shaw
A critic is a man who knows the way but can’t drive the car.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him.
An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
It was as stupid as taking a cauldron and a broom to a witch hunt.
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.
Do you realize that, if it weren’t for Edison, we’d be watching television by candlelight?
It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.
Love thy neighbour as thyself, but choose your neighbourhood.
The average person thinks he isn’t.
What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to.
We’re all in this alone.
Where did I find the time to not read so many books?
A fair fight is the one you win.
French Foreign Legion
And that greatest philosopher of them all — Anonymous
Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser.
If it wasn’t for the last minute, nobody would get anything done.
Whoever said “money can’t buy happiness,” didn’t know where to shop.
No one ever bets enough money on a winning horse.
If you talk to God, you’re praying. If God talks to you, you’re nuts.