A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society
In a different life, I used to go to dinner parties. You remember those: friends got together to eat and drink and talk about the people who weren’t there. I used to love it when the wine outlasted the dessert and all the boors and bores would hit the road and leave the field to the serious among us. At really, really good dinner parties, that’s when the parlour games come out. There are a number of them (I’ve mentioned them here, before) and most are a lot of fun. One of my favourites is quite simple: everybody takes a turn to wonder out loud about something they’ve never understood. As the circle gets tighter, the questions get better and can provoke general agreement and/or heated discussion. Either way, most of them are interesting insights into the world around us. Here are a few of my favourites (as close as I can remember.)
Why can Keanu Reeves be so good in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, The Matrix and John Wick and suck so badly in everything else?
Does anybody watch regular TV anymore?
Why does everybody win in Vegas — except me?
Why do they teach (3x + 2y) – 12 = (7x + 3y) even though every teacher knows it’s never going to come up in real life???
Why did August get 31 days instead of September?
Why didn’t Darth Vader remember R2D2 and C3P0?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the container?
Why do people who say they don’t believe in God, always talk about guardian angels?
How come a pizza can get to my house faster than the cops?
Who cares if a tree falls in the forest?
Why do potatoes have more chromosomes than people do?
How come people who say outlawing guns won’t change anything still think that making drugs illegal will?
How come people who say outlawing drugs won’t change anything still think that making guns illegal will?
Why are brushing your hair and brushing your teeth such totally different activities?
Why do dogs hang their heads out the window of a car moving at 60 kph but hate it when you blow in their faces?
Who owns the Internet?
How does aspirin know the difference between a headache and a sore knee?
Why do tornados always attack trailer parks?
Why, whenever there’s a riot anywhere in the world, are the protest signs always in English?
What is déjà vu “really?”
Is the light at the end of the tunnel that people say they see when they’re about to die, just being born again? (I think somebody cheated on this one – just sayin’.)
Why didn’t Gandalf just fly Frodo to the top of Mount Doom on the eagles that rescued him?
Is calling it Mother Nature just a sneaky way of saying God?
Why, when adults talk to kids, dogs and old people, do they use the same voice?
Why do light years measure distance, not time?
Why didn’t Samantha Stevens realize she was sleeping with the wrong Darren?
And my personal favourite:
Is Harry Potter just a psychotic kid who made up the whole Hogwarts thing to cope with his miserable life, living under the stairs?