Last week, Apple came out with the iPhone7. By my count, that’s seven different iPhones since they were first introduced in 2007. Simple math and the life expectancy of an Apple telephone is, give or take, 18 months. That’s pathetic. Even in dog years, that’s pathetic. Let’s face it, Apple is making their phones to be thrown away — and it doesn’t have to be that way. Remember the old Nokia phones? I have no idea how the Finns made those things, but you couldn’t tear them up with hand grenades. I’ll betcha there are still people out there somewhere using them. But the Nokia phone is proof we don’t have to live in a world where everything falls apart. Here are some other examples (taken from my personal experience) of everyday stuff that will last forever under normal use:
Zippo Lighters — Every badass on this planet has a Zippo lighter (mine is monogrammed.) Zippos have been through at least 3 major wars and come out the other side. They’ve gone to the top of Everest and been salvaged out of the Pacific Ocean. Treat them right, and you’ll never even have to replace the wick. Break them (practically impossible) and Zippo will fix them for free.
Flash Drive Memory Sticks — The only bit of contemporary technology that will outlast the data you’ve got stored on it.
Tilley Hats — These things don’t wear out — ever. And if yours does (which it won’t) Tilley will replace it — no charge. Rumour has it that a Tilley hat was once eaten by an elephant and a couple of days later, through the normal course of events, the owner got it back — intact. I don’t know whether he washed it and wore it, but he did get it back.
Crocs — Yeah, they don’t wear out but that’s not a good thing.
Lego — At a time when most kids’ toys break getting them out of the box, Lego is the wunderkind of every child’s imagination. You can build anything with Lego, then take it apart and build something else — a million times — because Lego bricks never break. They’re manufactured to withstand 400 kilograms (900 lbs.) of pressure, which means Lego will survive tornadoes, cyclones, tsunamis, hurricanes and even most earthquakes. About the only way to deliberately destroy a piece of Lego is shoot it with a high-powered rifle. So, if your kid ever breaks a piece of Lego, just back away slowly and call the police.
And finally:
Cast Iron Pans — My mother had a cast iron pan (God only knows where she got it from) that my sister just recently gave to her granddaughter. That’s one single frying pan, used and abused by four plus generations, for what’s getting close to 100 years. And you’d never know my great niece didn’t buy it yesterday. Heavy, awkward and ugly, you can hit a cast iron pan with a truck and check for damage — on the truck. I’m pretty sure that after The Apocalypse, cockroaches will be cooking their bacon in a cast iron frying pan.
I spit on planned obsolescence and drive away — in my 1985 Toyota Tercel.
A couple of weeks ago, E! cancelled I Am Cait — and not a minute too soon. Quite frankly, Caitlyn Jenner’s 15 minutes were up last year when she appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like Cait is going to go quietly, but, with any luck at all, she’ll just dissolve back into the Kardashian Universe and we’ll never hear from her again.
I’ve already said I hate summer, so chances are good I’m on Satan’s shortlist of souls he’d like to meet and greet — permanently. Hating summer is like seeing an ugly baby and then actually saying it : everybody kinda agrees with you, but nobody’s on your side. However, as the man said, “If you’re going to Hell anyway, you might as well just keep driving.” So summer might not actually suck — all the time — but here are 5 reasons why I prefer autumn.
WD Fyfe 