Ben Affleck, You Ignorant Slut!

affleckI’ll freely admit that ever since Argo, Ben Affleck has been off my Christmas card list.  Quite frankly, if you’re going to rewrite history, (“lie” is such a harsh word)  it’s indecent to make millions doing it.  Nor should you stand up before God and everybody and accept an Academy Award for your sins — that’s just straight chutzpah.

To be fair, in the early days, Ben did some good work, notably Dogma and Good Will Hunting.  However, take a peek at who’s standing right beside him — Matt Damon.  On his own, Affleck is noticeably underwhelming in Reindeer Games, Pearl Harbor, Daredevil and a cornucopia of other forgettables.  (I’m not going to even mention Gigli; that would be hitting below the belt.)  And this guy is a Hollywood mover and shaker?  Puh leeze!

So what’s Mr. Affleck  been up to lately?  Nothing less than strong arming PBS to whitewash his family history.  According to Finding Your Roots, Ben’s great-great-great grandfather was a slave owner before the Civil War.  Like it or not, a lot of Southerners were.  Apparently, Ben didn’t like it.  He thought it would be bad for his image to be that closely associated with racism.  He also thought it would be a good idea if PBS touched-up his roots before they broadcast the story; a kind of intellectual Photoshop for the Affleck family archives.  PBS complied, and the rest is history.  Well, not really… it’s kinda History According to Affleck.

It should be noted that Finding Your Roots has found slave owners swimming in other celebrity gene pools with no ill effects.  After all, it was more than 150 years ago — styles do change.

But look at the out-and-out arrogance of the guy!  He felt it was necessary to take his holier-than-thou attitude back five generations!  How much more self-righteous can you get?  And the size of his ego?  OMG!  Minor statistics from a census taken in the 19th century — and, of course, that’s a direct reflection on MMMEEEEE!  I think Mr. Affleck has forgotten he’s just a movie star (“actor” is such a talented word.)  He believes he’s some sort of handsome Dalai Lama (pure to the last incarnation — himself) who must use his rugged good looks to spread compassion and justice throughout the land.  Either that, or he’s let this Batman thing get out of hand.

Ben, there was this guy called Copernicus, and he’s got proof you’re not the centre of the universe.  Get over yourself!