A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society
Sometime in the late 1970s, a clandestine team of top scientists developed a super-secret formula. This formula was so secret and so dangerous that each of the scientists who worked on the project was immediately killed in what looked like a series of unrelated freak accidents. This formula was then introduced to a small segment of the population. It was a formula for invisibility.
This isn’t just another idiot conspiracy theory like Roswell, Area 51 or Lee Harvey Oswald Acted Alone. This is backed up by hard evidence. So before you pooh-pooh it and lump it in with the Illuminati and WMDs in Iraq, let’s look at the facts.
In 1970, Toni Cade Bambara wrote in The Black Woman, “…a man cannot be politically correct and a chauvinist too.” This was the birth of Politically Correct, an ethos of inclusion that was welcomed by a society too long dominated by old, bald, Euro-American men. For a few years, people followed its tenets with some very good results — firemen became firefighters, mailmen became letter carriers, and so on. This worked out quite well for a while: unfortunately, like all movements embraced by the middle class, Politically Correct went nuts. Eager to prove their sensitivity and superiority the Middle class jumped on the PC bandwagon like it was heading to Oprah Winfrey’s house. They decided that our entire society should be regulated by their vision of politically correct, and, as per usual, would not take no for an answer. Soon PC thugs were roaming cocktail parties, being indignant and shouting at people. They crashed political gatherings to be offended and call people names. Ordinary folks — who had never been racists, sexists, bigots or anything else — were intimidated in the face of this naked aggression and usually just shut up and went home. All during the 70s, the population cowered in fear as Yves St Laurent jackboots prowled the pavement, kicking people into line. It wasn’t until the Culture Wars of the 1980s that a brave resistance fought back and proved — beyond any doubt — that Politically Correct was totally stupid and anybody who expounded its virtues was an idiot. Yet the movement didn’t die. Why?
Around the same time, it suddenly became trendy for fashionable people to drink incredibly overpriced bottled water. They sucked away on this stuff like starving piglets at every inappropriate opportunity and generally left a mess wherever they went. It was everywhere, from the gymnasium to the boardroom. Then, just as suddenly, it stopped. The water is still being sold, and the empty plastic bottles are still choking the life out of our landfills, but you never see anybody drinking the stuff anymore. Why?
There is only one conclusion. The Politically Correct have become invisible. It sounds far-fetched, but when you stop and think about it, it makes perfect sense. Just ask yourself a few simple questions. Who drank that overpriced bottled water? Those pain-in-the ass, holier-than-thou middle class muffins. Do rednecks ever drink Perrier or Pellegrino? No, they’ve never even heard of them. How come people still lower their voices and glance around whenever they talk about “inappropriate” things – even in their own homes? And how come we have to go through the same old “Happy Holidays”/“Merry Christmas” crap every year? You’re starting to come around, aren’t you? Now here’s the kicker, and this really puts the croutons in the Caesar salad, believe me. Do you actually know anybody who admits they’re Politically Correct? You probably don’t. In fact, most people go out of their way to declare that they’re Politically Incorrect. So where did they go? Think about it.
Here’s what happened. The Politically Correct knew they were fighting a losing battle, but rather than surrender, they just took a page out of their Nazi forefathers’ playbook and went into hiding. With all the money they collected from civil rights lawsuits, they bought and perverted modern science to give them an opportunity to stay close and lie in wait. This is why we’re all still scared stupid about which term to use when and about who we may be offending. They’re still among us — listening. So the next time you feel that tingle on the back of your neck, or a cool breeze on your ankles be afraid – be very afraid, because they’re still out there – watching — waiting for their opportunity.