A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society
In the future, when archeologists mine our computer data, they will eventually run across YouTube and when they do, they’re going to come to some interesting conclusions about life in the early 21st century. Here are just a few examples. (In no particular order.)
Half of all Russian drivers had dash cameras and the other half were drunk.
The tattoo industry was basically illiterate.
Our society was obsessed with puppies, kittens and fat people falling over.
Stairs were dangerous, trampolines were dangerous but the most dangerous thing of all were stripper poles.
It was common practice to scare the crap out of people – friends, neighbours, total strangers.
Construction workers were idiots.
Every man on the planet was nailed in the crotch by a ball, a bat, a rock, a pole, a stick, a croquet mallet, a hot beverage, a flying piece of fruit or some other heavy item — at least once.
The number of skateboarders who attempted suicide was astronomical.
Grown men spent their lives looking for mistakes in movies.
Taylor Swift was part of the problem.
Kanye West had only one song.
Millions of people spent millions of hours watching men doing various activities with a variety of balls.
No one could get through an entire day without mentioning Trump.
People made all sorts of things out of used plastic bottles and old toilet rolls – but they were totally useless and looked like they were made out of used plastic bottles and old toilet rolls.
Western religion was based on celebrities and babies.
Bikinis made women stupid. Men started out that way.
People worried about zombies a lot more than they did nutrition.
Accidents, catastrophes and natural disasters were spectator sports.
Marriage proposals were publicly staged and elaborately planned.
Wedding, yearbook and family photos were objects of ridicule.
Despite all their research, future archeologists are never going to be able to figure out who was filming all this stuff or why.