WD Fyfe

A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society

Stuff I’ve Learned From Literature

read

People don’t read much anymore.  The once glorious novel has been left to gather dust while we play videogames and watch Netflix.  I’m as guilty as the next person so I’m not pointing fingers, but I still think it’s a shame.  After all, most of what I know about the world comes from reading fiction.  Here is just some of the stuff I’ve learned from literature.

Never, under any circumstances, give pigs any power.
Animal Farm

Never volunteer for anything.
The Hunger Games

If you think your lover has committed suicide get a qualified second opinion before you proceed.
Romeo and Juliet

If you’re going to invade Russia make sure you bring back-up.
War and Peace

Don’t be fooled by contemporary propaganda, children are savages.
Lord of the Flies

Contrary to popular belief, family isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.
Kidnapped

If you live in Wessex, England you’re pretty much screwed.
Anything by Thomas Hardy

It’s not a good idea to party with aristocrats from Transylvania – especially after dark.
Dracula

Be nice to the French.  They tend to hold a grudge.
The Count of Monte Cristo

Don’t drink and drive.
The Great Gatsby

Whatever you do, stay away from Southwest Texas.
No Country for Old Men

Female teachers with Scottish accents are dangerous.
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie

Sometimes, finding Nemo is not necessarily a good thing.
20,000 Leagues under the Sea

Expect the unexpected.
The Collected Works of O. Henry

On closer examination the meat packing industry is not as glamorous as one would think.
The Jungle

Never hunt whales.  It will always end badly.
Moby Dick

If you find yourself in the woods with a talking rabbit … go home, you’re stoned.
Alice in Wonderland

And finally:

Make digital copies of your books just in case we all go crazy in the next couple of years.
Fahrenheit 451

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7 comments on “Stuff I’ve Learned From Literature

  1. Claudette
    July 28, 2018

    That last one is a must – and hide them where no stupid idiots can find them.
    Really enjoyed your list, you’ve got a great way of pointing out the things we should take notice of.

  2. Excellent list. But don’t forget “Never underestimate the power of a woman.” Anything by Ian Fleming.

    • wdfyfe
      July 30, 2018

      Including “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”

      • Maybe particularly Chitty Chitty Bang Bang between Mimsie, the daughter whose name I can’t remember, and the car itself. CCBB was a she, wasn’t she?

      • wdfyfe
        July 30, 2018

        You got me buddy. I hardly remember the movie (never mind the book) but I think you and I are the only people in the world who remember Fleming wrote it. cheers

  3. CJ Hartwell
    August 2, 2018

    Absolute favorite: Anything by Thomas Hardy. 😀

    Marketing tip: Re-title this “Now You Don’t Have to Read the Book” and post it on Buzzfeed. It’ll go viral in minutes.

  4. Pingback: Never Underestimate the Power of an Offspring | The Real Reality Show Blog

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This entry was posted on July 27, 2018 by in Humor, Humour and tagged , , , .
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