Author: wdfyfe

Before WD called himself a writer, he worked at a number of different jobs from stacking lumber to interior design. He studied English at UBC and creative writing at ASU where one of his teachers, Rita Dove, taught him the importance of the tale. He has written for radio, magazines and newspapers, but never television. He’s published both fiction and nonfiction in Great Britain and the US. He reads French passably and speaks enough Spanish to get from A to B and find the toilet. He has interviewed John Cleese, Peter Ustinov, Margaret Drabble, Kenneth Branagh and enough other famous people to make him a hopeless name dropper. His not-so-secret passions are history and trivia, and he has never lost a game of Trivial Pursuit — although he did come 4th one drunken Quiz Night at the Uxbridge in Notting Hill. He lives on the Pacific Ocean, although, not close enough to see, so he spends his days looking at a computer screen. It’s a wonderful life and he has only one regret: he can’t type faster.

Family Reunion — 2015

vandale4Families are like belly buttons: everybody’s got one.  I’m one of those lucky people who has two — families — not belly buttons (that would be weird.)  I have a perfectly good DNA family, stocked with sisters, nieces and nephews.  I’m the off-the-wall uncle, and we bash along functioning as dysfunctionally as all families do.  However, when I was young, I “adopted” another family: one of those wild, extended ones with rambunctious cousins, several generations of sons and wise, comical old aunties — all sprawled across half a continent.  I grew up with this family just as much as I did with my own.  It was fun.

Last week, after several years, I went to a Family Reunion of my adopted family (that’s me in the back.)

I spent the weekend playing “Remember When,” trying to figure out who was related to who, which generation was which, and how did my generation get so damned old, so damned fast.  And it all reminded me why I “adopted” these Vandales in the first place.

Vandales are a unique bunch of folks.  At a Vandale table, there’s always room for another plate and nobody goes hungry, although, on occasion, the soup might be a little thin.  There’s always another chair, a place to sleep, somebody to talk to and room in their heart for another child or somebody’s girlfriend.  Everyone’s welcome.  If you’re there, you belong.

When Vandales get together, there are stories — some of them printable, all of them funny.  There’s music: old songs, newvandale3 songs and

“I didn’t knew you played 12 string guitar!”
“Neither did I!”

Children play.  Everybody talks.  In the general confusion, nobody can ever find Auntie Barb.  We all sing.  And there’s enough food for the 108th Airborne Division.  Vandales are a family who genuinely like each other — faults, fights, warts and all.  And now that the kids I grew up with have become the comical old uncles and aunties, it’s nice to see that — in 5 generations — nothing has changed.  The newest generation of Vandales are just like we were — all those years ago.

Most of us take our families for granted — they’re either too close for comfort or too far away to do us any good — but we need to remember our families are actually our first BFFs.  Yeah, they know what buttons to push to drive us crazy, and they don’t always forgive the way they’re supposed to — but so what?  These are the people you’re in it for life with.  So we should all take a page out of the Vandale book: lighten up and enjoy the ride.

Endless Moments Photography
Endless Moments Photography

I’M AN ENGLISH MAJOR!

english7I wrote most of this two years ago and I can’t believe I’ve got to say it all again.

This week, I had another run-in with techies.  I realize they’re the high priests of contemporary society, Steve Jobs is the Messiah and if I don’t click the binary stations of the cross in the correct sequence, I’ll never get to heaven.  Big wow!  I’m a cyber-atheist.  For my money, I can wipe out your entire pseudo religion with a pencil and a piece of paper, so don’t get all high and mighty with me.  Look, you know-it-all nerds, I’ve had it with your oh-so-superior attitude.  I’m an English Major and I can do pompous ass better than you ever thought of.  (Yeah, that’s a preposition at the end of a sentence.  What are you going to do about it, tough guy?)  Just to set the record straight — English Majors were arrogant dicks centuries before you geeks ever had a squad.  We were looking down our noses at regular folk when technology was still a quill pen.  And as far as we’re concerned, you jerks are just digital messenger boys for our ironic mixed metaphors and satirical similes.  So, know your role and shut your mouth.

And never forget, back in high school, while you were playing Space Invaders and having auto-erotic experiences with the Yearbook cheerleaders, I was in the only guy in the Poetry Club. (Do the math!)

I’m On Vacation — International

denmarkEver since Swedish director Ingmar Bergman went to see Elvis, Danish TV has enjoyed an incredible renaissance.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Check it out!

Crime drama – The Killing

House of Cards with nice people – Borgen

And for anybody who was born after Blackboard Jungle or To Sir With Love – Rita

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Writers never go on vacation.  They just turn off their computers and hide for a while.  That’s exactly what I’m doing for the next couple of weeks.  Enjoy!