It is with great sadness that I must announce the death of Common Sense. Even though Common Sense had suffered from a debilitating illness for many years, few, if any of us, realized it was terminal — until it was too late. Early reports say that it was not one massive act of utter Stupidity that killed Common Sense but years of petty Ignorance that simply destroyed Common Sense’s will to live. Common Sense was predeceased by its lifelong partner, Pragmatism, and is survived by its children, Reason and Logic, who have vowed to continue their parents’ work. Our thoughts and prayers are with the family at this time.
There is no clear record of the birth of Common Sense, but there are numerous documented examples of its accomplishments throughout human history. Unfortunately, despite these many accolades, these days, Common Sense’s abilities and achievements are largely ignored. And while it’s true some older people still remember Common Sense, it’s difficult for most people to imagine that Common Sense once practically ruled the world and had many devoted followers. Sadly, those days are gone — perhaps forever.
Clearly, however, not everyone is saddened by this tragedy. Politically Correct immediately took to Social Media to celebrate the demise of their greatest foe.
“Fry in Hell, Common Sense!”
“We totally reject the so-called ‘Common Sense Approach’ to problem solving. Solutions do nothing to promote awareness of the issues.”
“Ding Dong! Descartes is Dead.
Ideology cut off his head.
Ding Dong! Rene Descartes is dead.”
“Very uncool to use the ‘D’ word — and completely insensitive to people who have experienced (or will eventually experience) loss when friends or family pass.”
“Common Sense was an antiquated relic of the Eurocentric Enlightenment that has no place in our contemporary, ideologically diverse world.”
“Although we do not support Stupidity and Ignorance, we do recognize their legitimate struggle to reshape the narrative away from Common Sense’s solution-based agenda.”
“Aristotle was a misogynist, a xenophobic racist and probably a slave owner, and we call on all educators and pedagogues to stand together and erase his name from the curriculum. We also call on all institutions of higher learning to remove his likeness or graven image from their physical environment.
“Reason & Logic — u r next!”
As yet, no funeral arrangements have been made, but it was Common Sense’s dying wish to be buried alongside Humour, Satire and Irony, childhood friends who were brutally murdered during the Culture Wars of the 1990s.
In lieu of flowers, the family has requested that mourners turn off Twitter and Facebook for A Moment of Cyber-Silence in memory of Common Sense’s ability to elevate the conversation beyond Internet trolling.
Rest In Peace, Common Sense. You will be missed.