How Smart Are You? – A Test


In these troubled times, the one thing we can draw strength from is we’re all in this together.  And we are.  And I can prove it.  Here is a very simple test.  It has only 4 questions.  However, over 90% of ordinary people do not answer even one of the questions correctly!  Take the test. (Don’t cheat by scrolling to the answers or consulting Google.) If you answer even one of the questions correctly, your problem-solving skills are better than the vast majority of people on this planet.  Be careful, and good luck!  (At the end, I’ll tell you which segment of the population consistently gets the highest scores on this test.)

Question 1 — How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?


The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator door.  Put in the giraffe.  Close the door.

If you did not answer this question correctly, it shows that you do not possess simple problem-solving skills.

Question 2 – How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?


If your answer was “Open the refrigerator door.  Put in the elephant.  Close the door,” you are wrong.  You have missed a vital piece of information.

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator door. Remove the giraffe. Put in the elephant.  Close the door.

If you did not answer this question correctly, it shows that you do not possess complex problem-solving skills.

Question 3 – The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, and all the animals attend — except one.  Which animal does not attend the Lion King’s conference?


The correct answer is: The elephant who is still in the refrigerator.

If you did not answer this question correctly, it shows that you have difficulty accessing your short-term memory.

Question 4 – You are travelling to see the animals at the Lion King’s conference.  You come to a world-famous, crocodile-infested river.  There is no bridge, and you have no boat.  How do you cross the river?


If your answer is: I go to the refrigerator, opens the door remove the elephant and ride him across the river, you are wrong.  You cannot ride a wild elephant.

The correct answer is: I jump in the river and swim safely across because all the crocodiles are attending the Lion King’s conference.

If you did not answer this question correctly, it shows that you think you have problem-solving skills, but, unfortunately, you do not review the facts, forget important information and are easily sidetracked by over-complicating your problems.

And who gets the highest scores on this test?  The vast majority are children under 8 years old.

Time to remember your inner child!

(Inspired by CJ Hartwell’s Elephant jokes)

(And feel free to re-post this all you want.)

Enlightenment To Be Demolished


It came as no surprise today when it was announced on Twitter that The Enlightenment (sometimes called The Age of Reason) will be demolished.  This grand old building stood at the crossroads of our society for over 3 centuries, and is was a beautiful example of Neo-Classical Intellectual architecture.  Its inner courtyard housed the Garden of Knowledge, and over the years, many prominent philosophers (influencers) passed through its Halls of Logic.  At one time, the main entrance was dominated by a statue of Descartes (a dead white guy) but that was removed several years ago.  A radical sect of old people have formed a Facebook group to preserve the foyer’s marble floor with the motto Sapere Aude (dead white language) which, strangely, is actually etched in stone. They have been labelled “divisive” by anybody who really matters, and their efforts will probably fail.  The only decision left is what to do with The Enlightenment’s vast collection of books (really long Tweets, written on paper.)  One spokesperson said, “We thought about burning them, but that would send the wrong message.  So we’re considering just locking them away until everybody forgets about them.”

The idea of The Enlightenment is totally old, and was first proposed by ancient Greek thinkers — notably Socrates, Plato and Aristotle — (more dead white guys) but it took over a millennium of turmoil before it was finally built in the late 17th century.  Over the years, the building was renovated many times but always maintained itself as an institution that nurtured knowledge through logical thought and civilized discourse — although those ideals were never universally accepted.  In fact, throughout its history, The Enlightenment has been continually condemned by tyrants and dictators who demanded it be torn down.  Fortunately, it always managed to survive when free-thinking people stood between it and the demagogue’s wrecking ball.  However, times change, and in the 21st century, the shift in popular culture has left The Enlightenment abandoned and derelict for a generation.  Its broken windows and peeling paint are considered an eyesore by image-conscious contemporaries, but even its harshest critics admit the building is still structurally sound.  Another spokesperson commented, “We’ve been systematically dismantling The Enlightenment for years, but the damn thing just won’t fall down.  It’s making too many people uncomfortable.  It has to go.”

After The Enlightenment is demolished, there are plans to convert the site into a Celebrity Theme Park to promote awareness for a rotating series of trending social injustice issues.  The park will also feature a safe space (with puppies) for university students and areas where celebrities will be flown in to berate ordinary people on a variety of topics.

Despite once being heralded as a bastion against ignorance, the general feeling these days is The Enlightenment’s time is over.  Here are a just a few comments from social media.

“They used to do logic there or something, right?  We don’t need that anymore.  We just get on Twitter and call each other names.  That works.”

“Just because you read those book things, that doesn’t mean you’re smart.  My post-graduate degree is in Alternative Knowledge.”

“Leonardo DiCaprio has like millions of Instagram followers.  How many does The Enlightenment have?  Like none!”

“Good riddance!  People shouldn’t have to conform to Eurocentric rules of conclusion-based thinking.”

In a related story, the apartment building, Freedom of Speech, has been rezoned, and all the tenants have been given a 30-day eviction notice to vacate the premises.

Aristotle Is Dead!

philosophyWe live in interesting times.  Half the people hate what’s going on in the world, half the people fear what’s going on in the world, and half the people haven’t got a clue what’s going on in the world.  And the biggest problem is nobody cares that these figures don’t add up to 100%.  Our standard response to such things is — ” Whatever!”  Two hundred years from now, anthropologists and historians (if there are any left) are going to look at our time with a combination of disbelief and WTF?  The only thing they’ll be able to agree on is that we’ve  abandoned Aristotle for a more Kardashian view of reality.  The fact is, most of the stuff we do here is the early days of the 21st century defies logic.  Here are a few examples.

Extended Warranties — There are two things going on when you buy an extended warranty.  One, you’re betting money that the thing you just purchased turns out to be a piece of junk; and two, if it doesn’t, you’ve just willingly paid for a very expensive handful of air.

Free Stuff — Nope!  Even though, like unicorns, we all know what this looks like, it doesn’t exist.  Everyone forgets that, unless your name is Aladdin, somebody/somewhere has to pay for the stuff  you’re presumably going to get for free — and it’s usually you. (BTW, why did you get singled out to get something for nothing in the first place?  Just because?)

Government Secrets/Conspiracies — Governments do not conduct their secret affairs at facilities that regularly appear on television documentaries.  Nor do they leave massive clues behind for any YouTuber with a pause button to find.  A good rule to remember is if you and all your friends have heard about it — it isn’t a secret.

Lotteries — Math, folks! Do the math!

Denying Climate Change — This is like believing in the existence of God — and Blaise Pascal got it right.  If we believe in Climate Change and it doesn’t exist — nothing happens.  However, if we don’t believe in Climate Change and it does exist — we’re totally screwed.

Corporate Greed — The sole purpose of any corporation is to earn money.  That’s the reason they exist — the only reason.  To get pissed off at corporations that generate profits (“excessive” is a subjective term) is like getting angry at your cat because it’s good at catching mice.

And finally:

Apple Logos — Spending a boatload of money for an item that does the exact same thing as another item — that’s sitting right beside it and costs half as much — defies all logic.  The only explanation is Apple isn’t a business; it’s a cult.