Let’s face it, folks! We’re screwed — like totally. Western society is in an unholy hole, and every time some bright-bulb-somebody shows up with a shovel and tries to fix things, they just end up digging us in a little deeper. In my lifetime, the poor have gotten poorer, the hungry have gotten hungrier and the homeless have gotten — uh — well, you can’t actual get any homelesser, but given the wretched state of things, they probably would be — if it were at all possible. The point is, we need to do something — yesterday — or we’re going to find out rock bottom has a basement. Unfortunately, our world has been hijacked by stupid people. We all know there’s no cure for stupid, but with a little ingenuity, we can limit the ability of these morons to control the agenda. This is not a quick fix, and it could take a generation or two to get things under control, but if we act now there’s still time to save our society. Here are three things we need to do immediately, or the next voice we’re going to hear is President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho from Idiocracy, declaring war on asparagus.
1 — We need to make people take a test (and pass it!) before they’re allowed to vote. Here’s the deal: plumbers have to take a test (and pass it) before they’re allowed to play around with your sewer pipes; electricians have to take a test before they’re allowed to install a light switch; even cab drivers have to take a test before their allowed to drive you home from the bar. Yet, when it comes to politics and selecting the folks who are actually going to run the world, we abandon all due diligence and let every dumbass who can make an ‘X’ have a say — an equal say, BTW. No wonder most of our leaders have nice hair, good teeth and no brains.
2 — We need to make people who want to become parents go to Parenting School. Here’s the deal: if you want to be a teacher and teach kids, you have to go to school. If you want to open a Day Care and look after kids, you have to go to school. Hell, in some places if you want to be an occasional babysitter — you have to go to school. Yet, if you want to become a parent and be totally — 100% — responsible for a helpless child’s comfort, nutrition, safety and education, their physical, psychological, moral and spiritual wellbeing, and work diligently 24/7 for 18 years (without a day off) to turn them into responsible adults — all you have to do is have one too many tequilas, let a foot massage get out of hand and 9 months later — Shazam! — you’re a parent. Does this make any sense? Letting a bunch of people who haven’t got a clue about life have kids and pass their cluelessness on to the next generation is what’s exponentially killing our society.
But first — before we do all that:
3 — We need to take the warning labels off everything. This is Darwinism at its best, and it might be exactly what our world needs right now.
As I get older, I realize a ton of people are a lot smarter than I am. When I look at the world (even wearing my rose-coloured glasses) mostly all I see is benign chaos. However, some people can look through all that and see where the little bits of truth are hiding. These are the folks who instantly grasp an idea, distill it down to a single sentence, flip it onto their tongues and then effortlessly blend it into the conversation. I know envy is one of the 7 Deadly Sins, but, for all the world, I envy these people ’cause on the rare occasions when I do that, I spend the rest of the day walking just a little taller. Here are some examples and each one, when read carefully, demonstrates some serious understanding of the world we live in.
WD Fyfe 