We live in desperate times when the combination of an omnipotent social media and slipshod education has produced a generation whose philosophical IQ is measured out in clichés. I call bullshit! Let me demonstrate with a random selection of the trite musings running around the Internet these days.
The meek shall inherit the Earth — Yeah, I know it’s biblical, but in 2017 some Wall Street investment broker with a roomful of lawyers is going to contest the will.
Age is only a number — You ever notice the people spouting this nonsense are all under 35?
That which doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger — Clearly, whoever thought this one up was never hit by a bus. When they haul you away from that little mishap, you’ll wish to hell the bus hadda finished the job.
White Privilege — Why am I being arbitrarily profiled because my ancestors happen to come from Northern Europe? We have a name for people who judge other people by their racial ancestry. . . .
Everything happens for a reason — Do you really think the universe cares if you fall down the stairs? Google Copernicus, ya moron!
Do what you love and the money will follow — I want to see the person who’s going to pay me to eat Doritos™, drink Pepsi™ and binge-watch Netflix™.
Life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans — This is nothing more than a bad excuse for never making any plans in the first place.
You have to look through the rain to see the rainbow — You’re at a bus stop on a deserted highway. It’s 9:30 at night and pissin’ down rain. You haven’t seen a bus, a car, a person or a stray dog in over an hour. Three bikers pull up and ask for your wallet. Oh, look! There’s the rainbow!
If life hands you a lemon, make lemonade — This might be true if life also handed you a pitcher, some water, sugar and something to stir it all with, and — BTW — one lemon isn’t going to make very much lemonade.
And finally:
Money isn’t everything/Money can’t buy happiness — I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor: take a wild guess which one I prefer.
I’m starting to think stupid people have declared war on me. In the last month, I’ve had three conversations that defy the laws of reasonable behaviour, and as Goldfinger once said to James Bond, “Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.” Could it be that stupid people have finally realized I’ve been making fun of them for years and have decided to fight back? It looks like it.
WD Fyfe 