WD Fyfe

A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society

Top Ten Jokes of 2011

There’s enough going wrong in the world this week that even we optimists are getting the Windex out to clean our rose-coloured glasses.  Just when we thought things couldn’t get any worse – they did.  People are starting to read Kafka for laughs and Cormac McCarthy is beginning to look downright light hearted.  However, rather than dwell on the obvious let’s stop for a moment, pour a beverage and relax.

Remember, August is that time of year when the local folks of Edinburgh rent their houses out for mucho dinero and bugger off to Spain; chased out of their town by the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.  For those of you who’ve never heard of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, that’s too bad because it’s the greatest mish-mash of all-things-considered in the world.  The Edinburgh Fringe is actually several coexisting arts festivals that run amok, day and night, through the streets of Edinburgh for the entire month of August.  It was started in the late 1940s by some university students, and even though it’s become internationally huge, it still maintains its undergraduate Alphagetti-for-breakfast air.

One of the biggest parts of The Fringe is comedy; some good, some bad, some awful.  And for the last few years, it has produced a Top Ten list of the funniest jokes of the Festival.  This is this year’s offering.  So, as the world continues to spin, tune out for a second and remember we’re still the funniest species on the planet.

10) DeAnne Smith: “My friend died doing what he loved … Heroin.”

9) Andrew Lawrence: “I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can’t even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails.”

8) Mark Watson: “Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I’m not falling for that one again, wife.”

7) Alan Sharp: “I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure.”

6) Sarah Millican: “My mother told me you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.”

5) Matt Kirshen: “I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.”

4) Tim Key: “Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought… once you’ve hired the car…”

3) Hannibal Buress: “People say ‘I’m taking it one day at a time’. You know what? So is everybody. That’s how time works.”

2) Tim Vine: “Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.”

And the Number One funniest joke of the 2011 Edinburgh Fringe Festival is:

1)      Nick Helm: “I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”

Okay, back to our regular programming!

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4 comments on “Top Ten Jokes of 2011

  1. amoriarty
    August 26, 2011

    Thanks, Bill.
    I (we) needed that.

  2. Haleyyy
    February 29, 2012

    None of these “jokes” where funny at all….What the heck?

    • wdfyfe
      February 29, 2012

      That’s probably because they’re last year’s jokes

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This entry was posted on August 26, 2011 by in Social Comment and tagged , , .
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