I’m going to watch the Oscars again on Sunday — even though I’ve been mad at them for over twenty years. (Braveheart? The English Patient? Titanic? Give me a break!) I watch every year ’cause I love movies and — like it or don’t — Oscar is the Big Kahuna! However, I think the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is packed with a bunch of pompous asses. And while I don’t mind if a crowd of obscenely rich people want to prance around, congratulating each other on how awesome they are, I do object to them telling us ordinary folk how to save the world. Quite frankly, Hollywood people live so high up in their Tinsel Tower they can’t see the common people for the cloud cover.
This year’s Cause Celebre is women, so the Red Carpet won’t have as much colour and cleavage as we’re used to, but at the end of the day, remember — it’s still about the movies. So, to enhance your experience, here are a few fun facts about this year’s Oscars.
I’m no Nostradamus, but I think it’s a safe bet to predict a) President Trump will get a whippin’; b) the same people who were applauding Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey a couple of years ago will be pushing each other out of the way to get a kick in (BTW, Louis CK will not be mentioned); and c) one of the Grande Dames — might be Meryl/might be Oprah — will give an impassioned speech about change.
This year’s host is Jimmy Kimmel (for the second time.) This is a guy who made his bones on The Man Show which featured, among other things, Topless In America, Girls on Trampolines and The Juggy Dance Squad. Somehow, I don’t think that kind of obsession with breasts really catches the zeitgeist of contemporary Hollywood. (Just sayin’.)
And as an extra added attraction, it will be interesting to see if Kimmel continues his mischievous faux feud with Matt Damon, who, as far as I know, is still persona non grata this award season. (Don’t worry, Matt! Even Mel Gibson got rehabilitated.)
Despite the long tradition, Casey Affleck has chickened out and will not present the Oscar to this year’s Best Actress. Personally, I think it’s because none of the nominees wanted to get that close to the guy. His brother Ben (two-time Oscar winner) probably won’t be there either considering he got caught — on tape — groping Hilarie Burton. (Those Affleck boys! What a couple of scamps!)
In a town where money talks, it’s interesting to note that, of the top 10 money-making movies of 2017, not one has been nominated for Best Picture! In fact, more people paid money to see Wonder Woman (#10 on the list) than all the Best Picture nominees combined! The big question then is, if these 9 nominees for Best Picture of the entire year are so damn good, how come most people didn’t bother to go see them?
I have the feeling that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences just told all us common folk, in no uncertain terms, that we prefer crap!