People don’t read much anymore. The once glorious novel has been left to gather dust while we play videogames and watch Netflix. I’m as guilty as the next person so I’m not pointing fingers, but I still think it’s a shame. After all, most of what I know about the world comes from reading fiction. Here is just some of the stuff I’ve learned from literature.
Never, under any circumstances, give pigs any power.
Never volunteer for anything.
The Hunger Games
If you think your lover has committed suicide get a qualified second opinion before you proceed.
Romeo and Juliet
If you’re going to invade Russia make sure you bring back-up.
War and Peace
Don’t be fooled by contemporary propaganda, children are savages.
Lord of the Flies
Contrary to popular belief, family isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.
If you live in Wessex, England you’re pretty much screwed.
Anything by Thomas Hardy
It’s not a good idea to party with aristocrats from Transylvania – especially after dark.
Be nice to the French. They tend to hold a grudge.
The Count of Monte Cristo
Don’t drink and drive.
The Great Gatsby
Whatever you do, stay away from Southwest Texas.
No Country for Old Men
Female teachers with Scottish accents are dangerous.
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
Sometimes, finding Nemo is not necessarily a good thing.
20,000 Leagues under the Sea
Expect the unexpected.
The Collected Works of O. Henry
On closer examination the meat packing industry is not as glamorous as one would think.
Never hunt whales. It will always end badly.
If you find yourself in the woods with a talking rabbit … go home, you’re stoned.
Alice in Wonderland
Make digital copies of your books just in case we all go crazy in the next couple of years.