A Sideways Glare at Contemporary Society
Why did the chicken cross the road? Our time is so terminally serious that a lot of people think this is a real question, and more importantly, an opportunity to jump on their soapbox and give the world the benefit of their answer. Here are just a few examples.
Will this be on the exam?
To die in a ditch – alone.
I know why, but you wouldn’t understand.
I’m up to my ass in student loans: I don’t care.
Chickens are running for their lives since the Trump administration announced it would be adding chicken soup to the White House cafeteria lunch menu.
To sell its eggs on our side of the road and destroy the American poultry industry.
This is what happens to British agriculture when a bunch of uneducated yobs vote for Brexit.
I think we better take a look at the slo-mo video review of that– to make sure the chicken actually did get across the road.
Chicken on the road! You won’t believe the “shocking” video!
That question will be answered in a 10-part original series — with Jennifer Lawrence as Chicken Little and Alec Baldwin as the Cock of the Walk.
We don’t care why, but we will accept one million chickens who are fleeing their side of the road.
We are not racist, but we’re glad the chickens are going back to their own side of the road.
Madame Marine Le Pen
On behalf of all Canadians, we apologize for our ancestors who built a road that the chicken was forced to cross.
To try and escape from our awesome nuclear arsenal. But there is no escape, and I will rain fire down on any chicken who dares challenge my supreme power.
I have no knowledge of this chicken. It wasn’t a Russian chicken, and anyone who says it was — is misinformed.
He didn’t! Fake news! Not funny!
Colonel Sanders is sexist.
I’m smarter than that chicken.
I walk down the middle of the road.
We must end our dependence on fossil fuels, and then there would be no need for roads, chickens would run free, and families could just gather the eggs for food.
Did you know that millions of chickens are suffering and never get the chance to cross a road?
One percent of the world’s population controls 90% of the chickens and 80% of the roads. That’s not fair.
I’d like to live in a world where chickens can cross roads without everyone questioning their motivation.
Chickens have just as much right to cross the road as roosters do.
20th Century feminist
What’s your problem with an empowered female following her passion in a rooster-dominated society?
21st Century feminist
But my favourite is
Wow! Wouldn’t it be weird to have feathers and shit, and like we could fly everywhere, and instead of having babies, we could just like lay eggs? Cool!
Over-enthusiastic Cannabis User