I’m Tired Of Trump

donald-trumpOkay, I’m officially tired of Donald Trump.  I’ve had it up to my eyeballs with the guy.  It’s been three solid months.  Even Jack the Ripper got a day off, for God’s sake!
I don’t care how bad he is.
I don’t care how good he is.
I don’t care what he looks like, where he goes or who comes to see him.
I don’t care that Saturday Night Live hasn’t been this relevant since Chevy Chase discovered Gerald Ford was clumsy.
I don’t care that Alec Baldwin doesn’t like Trump.
I don’t care that Stephen Baldwin does.
And I don’t give a rat’s ass for Rosie O’Donnell’s opinion.  (That woman’s just mean.)
Actually, I’m sick and tired of celebrity millionaires telling me how I’m supposed to care and what I’m supposed to care about.  I’ve got a  new rule: I’m not taking any advice from people who don’t buy their own toilet paper.  (And BTW, I’ve seen some of those movies they’re calling art.  They ain’t!)
I’m tired of Trumpeters, for and against, cluttering up my Twitter feed.
I’m tired of turning on the TV and seeing nothing but Trump.
I’m tired of people plastering Trump all over Facebook.  The election’s over; it’s time to get back to sick kids and kittens.

Personally, despite what the media says, I don’t think Donald Trump is smart enough to be the Antichrist, but, if he is — well — why doesn’t he get on with it?
And I definitely don’t think he’s the best president since Teddy Roosevelt.  So far, pretty much everything he’s touched has gone sideways.
So maybe — just maybe — he’s somewhere in the middle.

But that’s the problem.

It’s impossible to have a reasonable political discussion about the relative merits or demerits of a Trump presidency because every dumbass from Maine to Malibu is shouting an opinion — and most of it is just noise.

So until we quit being immature jerks, running around calling each other names, I’m out.  And, as of right now, if all the Trump supporters and all the Trump detractors were gathered naked in Antarctic, I wouldn’t give any one of them the steam off my pee to keep warm.

There’s more to this world than Donald Trump, folks!

Vas Bien, Fidel

fidelAmerican satirist Mort Sahl once said, “If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you’ll eventually be accused of treason.”  Nothing demonstrates this more completely than the life and death of Fidel Castro.  Once the darling of the political left, Fidel, dashing revolutionary, somehow, somewhere, turned into Castro, a particularly dickie brand of dictator, universally admonished.  Obviously, our times they are a’changin’, but unlike other relics of the 1960s, Castro didn’t change with them.  He might have been the last — and possibly the greatest — Cold War warrior, but here, in the 21st century there’s no room for Fidel because all we want to see is Castro.  How the mighty have fallen.

The truth is Fidel was not an economist, a philosopher or a social engineer.  He was a politician — an excellent politician.  He stayed in power longer than any other leader in the 20th century.  He outlasted Khrushchev, Brezhnev, Gorbachev and Yeltsin.  He survived the Fall of the Berlin Wall and the end of the Cold War and refused to take part in the surrender.  He out-maneuvered 10 American presidents bent on his destruction until finally, admitting defeat, Barack Obama journeyed to Castro’s capital, Havana, to say all is forgiven.  Like him or not, Fidel was good at what he did.  And what he did was power and this is how he did it.

It’s quite complicated, but here’s the decaffeinated version.

When Fidel took power in Cuba in 1959, he had one simple choice.  He could become just another petty dictator with a gaudy uniform and a big hat, one of many Caribbean client states in the American empire.  Or, he could become the Numero Uno, head-of-the-class, resident, revolutionary badass of the Soviet empire.  The fact is it wasn’t ideology that motivated Fidel Castro’s decision; it was power.  He knew that, without power, he was just another left-leaning Latino politician.  But he also knew that if he was a bona fide pain in the ass to the U.S. of A., the Soviet Politburo would bend over backwards to keep him in power.  On the other hand, the American Congress might back him for a while, but they were just as likely to throw him under the bus if some other smart Cuban started whispering “democracy” in their ear.  After all, they’d done it before — with a guy called Batista.

Fidel chose badass.

Suddenly, Cuba, a tiny nation whose only claim to fame was the Cha-Cha, the Mambo and Lucille Ball’s husband Desi, was taken seriously in every world capital east (and west) of Washington DC.  When Fidel spoke, people listened.  And, he and his buddy Che became the poster boys for an entire generation of wannabe revolutionaries.  You can still buy the T-shirts, anywhere in the world.  So, call him Fidel or Castro or whatever you like but does anybody remember who was running the show in Guatemala or Honduras or the Dominican Republic in 1959?  I don’t think so.

Trump — The Reality

donaldIt’s been a week since the American people elected Donald Trump president of the United States, and The Apocalypse hasn’t shown up yet.  Yes, there have been some “Not My President” protests (as part of that “orderly transition of power” we’ve all heard so much about) but, honestly, if Trump is even half the Antichrist the protesters say he is … well … I doubt very much if smashing windows in Portland is gonna dissuade the boy from his satanic purpose.  So, maybe it’s time to talk a little reality here.

(Full Disclosure — I’m not a Trump fan, and I wouldn’t have voted for him.)

Myth — Donald was elected by stupid white men who got pissed off when they finally realized that the media and other college-educated people were making fun of them.
Reality — Nothing could be further from the truth.  White men have known for years that the mainstream media and their urban elite demographic believe “middle class white male” is synonymous with knuckle-dragging Neanderthal Hillbilly.  God, we’re not that stupid!

Myth — Calling Donald Trump stupid, evil, a racist, a fascist, a misogynist, homophobic, sexist, xenophobic and anti-intellectual should have convinced voters that he is unfit to be president.
Reality — Every Republican candidate since Eisenhower has been called all those names — and worse.  They don’t mean anything anymore.  These days, a sexist is someone who attempts to hold the door for a pregnant woman and a misogynist is someone who doesn’t.  Or maybe it’s the other way around?  The truth is, nobody knows, and nobody cares.  Hell, there are academics out there who claim Abraham Lincoln was a racist!  Go figure!

Myth — “It’s my turn” is a legitimate reason to be elected President.
Reality — Unfortunately, the centuries-of-oppression argument doesn’t  always work in the real world.  Yes, it’s too bad your religion, gender, ethnic origin, sexual affiliation, etc., etc. had it rough back in 1640, but everybody else’s did, too.  The thing is you weren’t a very good Secretary of State — uh — three years ago, and glass ceiling or not, that counts.

Myth — Rich celebrities are experts on economics, health, transportation, foreign affairs, trade and the environment.  Plus, they have wise political insights.
Reality — I’m not the only person on this planet who’s tired of getting told how politically ignorant I am by a multi-millionaire who has two or three houses, a gardener, a cook and a maid, flies First Class, doesn’t make her own bed, hasn’t shopped for groceries in ten years and just got out of rehab.

Myth — Politically Correct does not stifle communication and must be part of every honest dialogue.
Reality — If you believe that, I’m thinkin’ you got the President you deserve.