I’m Tired Of Trump

donald-trumpOkay, I’m officially tired of Donald Trump.  I’ve had it up to my eyeballs with the guy.  It’s been three solid months.  Even Jack the Ripper got a day off, for God’s sake!
I don’t care how bad he is.
I don’t care how good he is.
I don’t care what he looks like, where he goes or who comes to see him.
I don’t care that Saturday Night Live hasn’t been this relevant since Chevy Chase discovered Gerald Ford was clumsy.
I don’t care that Alec Baldwin doesn’t like Trump.
I don’t care that Stephen Baldwin does.
And I don’t give a rat’s ass for Rosie O’Donnell’s opinion.  (That woman’s just mean.)
Actually, I’m sick and tired of celebrity millionaires telling me how I’m supposed to care and what I’m supposed to care about.  I’ve got a  new rule: I’m not taking any advice from people who don’t buy their own toilet paper.  (And BTW, I’ve seen some of those movies they’re calling art.  They ain’t!)
I’m tired of Trumpeters, for and against, cluttering up my Twitter feed.
I’m tired of turning on the TV and seeing nothing but Trump.
I’m tired of people plastering Trump all over Facebook.  The election’s over; it’s time to get back to sick kids and kittens.

Personally, despite what the media says, I don’t think Donald Trump is smart enough to be the Antichrist, but, if he is — well — why doesn’t he get on with it?
And I definitely don’t think he’s the best president since Teddy Roosevelt.  So far, pretty much everything he’s touched has gone sideways.
So maybe — just maybe — he’s somewhere in the middle.

But that’s the problem.

It’s impossible to have a reasonable political discussion about the relative merits or demerits of a Trump presidency because every dumbass from Maine to Malibu is shouting an opinion — and most of it is just noise.

So until we quit being immature jerks, running around calling each other names, I’m out.  And, as of right now, if all the Trump supporters and all the Trump detractors were gathered naked in Antarctic, I wouldn’t give any one of them the steam off my pee to keep warm.

There’s more to this world than Donald Trump, folks!

Trump — The Reality

donaldIt’s been a week since the American people elected Donald Trump president of the United States, and The Apocalypse hasn’t shown up yet.  Yes, there have been some “Not My President” protests (as part of that “orderly transition of power” we’ve all heard so much about) but, honestly, if Trump is even half the Antichrist the protesters say he is … well … I doubt very much if smashing windows in Portland is gonna dissuade the boy from his satanic purpose.  So, maybe it’s time to talk a little reality here.

(Full Disclosure — I’m not a Trump fan, and I wouldn’t have voted for him.)

Myth — Donald was elected by stupid white men who got pissed off when they finally realized that the media and other college-educated people were making fun of them.
Reality — Nothing could be further from the truth.  White men have known for years that the mainstream media and their urban elite demographic believe “middle class white male” is synonymous with knuckle-dragging Neanderthal Hillbilly.  God, we’re not that stupid!

Myth — Calling Donald Trump stupid, evil, a racist, a fascist, a misogynist, homophobic, sexist, xenophobic and anti-intellectual should have convinced voters that he is unfit to be president.
Reality — Every Republican candidate since Eisenhower has been called all those names — and worse.  They don’t mean anything anymore.  These days, a sexist is someone who attempts to hold the door for a pregnant woman and a misogynist is someone who doesn’t.  Or maybe it’s the other way around?  The truth is, nobody knows, and nobody cares.  Hell, there are academics out there who claim Abraham Lincoln was a racist!  Go figure!

Myth — “It’s my turn” is a legitimate reason to be elected President.
Reality — Unfortunately, the centuries-of-oppression argument doesn’t  always work in the real world.  Yes, it’s too bad your religion, gender, ethnic origin, sexual affiliation, etc., etc. had it rough back in 1640, but everybody else’s did, too.  The thing is you weren’t a very good Secretary of State — uh — three years ago, and glass ceiling or not, that counts.

Myth — Rich celebrities are experts on economics, health, transportation, foreign affairs, trade and the environment.  Plus, they have wise political insights.
Reality — I’m not the only person on this planet who’s tired of getting told how politically ignorant I am by a multi-millionaire who has two or three houses, a gardener, a cook and a maid, flies First Class, doesn’t make her own bed, hasn’t shopped for groceries in ten years and just got out of rehab.

Myth — Politically Correct does not stifle communication and must be part of every honest dialogue.
Reality — If you believe that, I’m thinkin’ you got the President you deserve.

2013: Dull, If Not Boring!

new year3The year is less than two weeks old, but I’m willing to go out on a limb and say 2013 isn’t going to be a very good year.  It’s not going to suck or anything; it’s just going to be dull, boring, historically dismissive.  It’ll be one of those years which a hundred years from now nobody’s going care about.  Kinda like 1489, or 1843 or 1771.  Those were years that, I imagine, were perfectly cool at the time but simply couldn’t keep their lustre compared to 1492, 1848 and 1776.  They just didn’t have the star power.

First of all, 2013 doesn’t sound right.  It’s got too many syllables or something.   It trips on the tongue.  Nineteen eighteen has cadence.  Ten sixty six has rhythm.  Forty four B.C. has an authority about it.  These are all years when big stuff happened.   However, take a look at twelve fifty seven or seven thirty one.  These are years that so closely resemble every other year that even nerdy historians don’t worry about what happened then because guess what?  Nothing did.  That’s going to be the problem with 2013.

Yeah, we’re going to have all the regular stuff in 2013: Easter, Father’s Day, Labour Day, Christmas etc., but we’re not going to have any of the big stuff.  There are no Olympics this year, no World Cup and most importantly, no American elections.  American politics are going to be dominated by budget negotiations.  Big snooze!  Budgets aren’t sexy, and besides now that Obama’s been re-elected, there’s nothing much at stake.  The political shine is off the rose and all those oh-so-committed (informed? engaged?) voters are heading for the exits.  The last thing any of them wants to do is play Survivor with fiscal responsibility; a subject most people think is about as exciting as eating lukewarm Kraft Dinner.  No, Springsteen and Oprah have put away their microphones for the duration, and political entertainment has left the building.

Speaking of entertainment; don’t expect 2013 to be a banner year at the movies,new year2 either.  Film makers are doing so many storyline retrofits I fully expect to see Holmes on Homes listed as technical advisor in most of the credits.  First, there’s The Lone Ranger with Johnny Depp, who is going to outshine Armie Hammer by a long shot and probably end up riding off into the sunset with Red (Helena Bonham Carter) leaving Lone to fend for himself.  Then, there’s Gatsby who was great when Redford portrayed him in the ‘70s; something about Oz which has James Franco playing a prequel to Dorothy (remember him in drag at the Oscars, hmmm?) and two more additions to the Star Trek and Superman franchises – like we need those.  Eventually, Hollywood is going to get boiled down to just one single movie with various sequels, prequels and equals regurgitated every year.  Oh yeah, I almost forgot, there’s another Die Hard this year, which, with any luck at all will be Die Hard: Once and for all.  Unfortunately, I think John McClane is going to go on forever — like those “Call Me Maybe” parodies on YouTube.

Of course, in 2013, there won’t be that YouTube menace Psy kicking around.  2012’s answer to The Starlight Vocal Band is gone, if not already forgotten.  Last time I looked, he was hanging out in Times Square on New Year’s Eve with Jenny McCarthy and MC Hammer.  If that isn’t a triple whammy kiss of death, I don’t know what is?  And don’t expect a 2013 equivalent of “gangnam style;” there’s only so much a discerning public can stand in one decade.

That’s probably the problem with 2013.  This decade is relatively new, and there’s a whole pile of stuff out there just quietly waiting to hit the fan.  When it does, we’re going to have a lot more than reinvigorated “Hammer time” to contend with!  Actually, this might be the calm before the storm.  So, to that end, I suggest you just sit back and relax in the relative peace and quiet of the next eleven months or so.  Gather your wits about you, because after that it’s going to be “Buckle up, Pardner!  Here we go again!”