I Miss BJM

Last year (Yeah, The Twelve Months From Hell) one of my eBuddies decided she wasn’t going to be kicked around by the gloom and doom circling the planet.  So she did something about it.  She used her blog to create Bad Joke Monday — a bit of silliness in a world of woe.  Then she spread it around in her little corner of the world – cuz that’s what you’re supposed to do.  Everyone who was touched by BJM (as it came to be called) had a grin, a giggle and usually a groan every week – plus, they got to see some kickass illustrations.  It was a cool comedy umbrella when everything seemed to be seriously raining on our parade.  I loved BJM, and I miss it.  So, with a virtual salute to all of us who were involved in CJ’s creation, here are some really, really bad jokes.  Enjoy!

It’s time to stop eating grapes.  It’s all about raisin awareness.

Last week, I found out I was colour blind.  It just came out of the green.

The local archery club likes to hold their meetings at the cheese shop … just to shoot the brie.

A man got hit by a train and broke his left arm and his left leg.  He’s all right now.

A minister, a priest and a rabbit walked into a blood bank.  The nurse asked, “What’s your blood type?” and the rabbit replied, “I’m pretty sure I’m a Type-O.”

Atheists belong to a non-prophet organization.

A piano fell down a mineshaft, and all that was left was A Flat Minor.

People are shocked when they find out what a bad electrician I am.

The first time I used a universal remote control, I thought, “Wow! This changes everything.”

I can only recite 25 letters of the alphabet.  I can’t remember why.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

Let’s all go for coffee.  It’ll be a latte of fun.

What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?  Hop in.

What do you call a fish who doesn’t have any eyes?  A fsh.

Would you mind if I took a picture of you naked?  No problem.  Put your clothes over there.

What did the beaver say when he hit his head on a wall?  Dam!

If you ever get a bladder infection – you’re in trouble.

I’m not addicted to drinking brake fluid; I can stop anytime.

If you’re holding a bee, what’s in your eye?  Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.

And finally:

I ordered a thesaurus from Amazon, but when it arrived, the pages were blank.  I have no words to describe how angry I was.