Top 15 Jokes Of 2017


There’s enough going wrong in the world this week that even we optimists are getting the Windex out to clean our rose-coloured glasses.  Just when we thought things couldn’t get any worse – they did.  People are starting to read Kafka for laughs and Cormac McCarthy is beginning to look downright lighthearted.  However, rather than dwell on the obvious let’s stop for a moment, pour a beverage and relax.

Remember, August is that time of year when the local folks of Edinburgh rent their houses out for mucho dinero and bugger off to Spain; chased out of their town by the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.  For those of you who’ve never heard of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, that’s too bad because it’s the greatest mish-mash of all-things-considered in the world.  The Edinburgh Fringe is actually several coexisting arts festivals that run amok, day and night, through the streets of Edinburgh for the entire month of August.  It was started in the late 1940s by some university students, and even though it’s become internationally huge, it still maintains its undergraduate Alphagetti-for-breakfast air.

One of the biggest parts of The Fringe is comedy; some good, some bad, some awful.  And for the last few years, it has produced a Top Ten [Fifteen] list of the funniest jokes of the Festival.  This is this year’s offering.  So, as the world continues to spin, tune out for a second and remember we’re still the funniest species on the planet.  (oddly enough, this was written in 2011)

The top 15 funniest jokes from the Fringe (2017)

  1. “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change” – Ken Cheng
  2. “Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book” – Frankie Boyle
  3. “I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point?” – Alexei Sayle
  4. “I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her” – Lew Fitz
  5. “I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated” – Andy Field
  6. “Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant” – Mark Simmons
  7. “I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it…” – Jimeoin
  8. “I have two boys, 5 and 6. We’re no good at naming things in our house” – Ed Byrne
  9. “I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died… which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine” – Olaf Falafel
  10. “Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences.’ I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!”‘ – Alasdair Beckett-King
  11. “A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event” – Angela Barnes
  12. “As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer” – Adele Cliff
  13. “For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don’t want to do it” – Phil Wang
  14. “I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark” – Adam Hess
  15. “I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act” – Tim Vine


Amy Schumer?/Tina Fey?

AmyI just saw the latest GQ cover, and it looks like Amy Schumer is the new Tina Fey — which is odd because Tina hasn’t gone anywhere.  Tina, the old one, was something in her day.  She was brilliant straight out of high school and made her bones on Saturday Night Live, making fun of Sarah Palin and working with Jimmy Fallon.  Fallon, as everybody knows, was replaced by Amy Poehler when he went on to become the new Letterman — which is also odd because, in actual fact, Stephen Colbert is going to be the new Letterman.  You know Stephen from The Colbert Report, but before that he was the new Steve Carell on the old Daily Show with Jon Stewart.  FYI, there’s going to be a new Daily Show when Jon Stewart leaves in August, but that doesn’t matter because John Oliver is already the new Jon Stewart.  Meanwhile, back to Steve Carell. He was Michael Scott on The Office, basically the new David Brent from the original British series.  That version was created by Ricky Gervais who pissed off so many Hollywood egos at The Golden Globe Awards that he was replaced by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.  Now, they’re going to be replaced because Amy Schumer is the new Tina Fey and Amy Poehler isn’t the right Amy.

So what have we learned?

Amy Schumer has totally won the Amy war with Poehler, and she’s such a bankable brand right now that she can even suck on Disney’s Lightsaber with impunity.

In order to end up sucking on Disney’s Lightsaber, you don’t necessarily have to practice your craft with Lorne Michaels or Jon Stewart, but given the comedy pedigree of most people in the funny business, it helps.

Everybody in comedy is so connected to everybody else it looks like Duck Dynasty with dick jokes.

And finally, Amy Adams was never considered a worthy Amy adversary even though Michael Scott (Steve Carell) from The Office once called her “the new and improved Pam.”  (Most people have forgotten that episode.)